(train horn blasts) (foreboding music)
(smoke puffs)
- I can't believe it, they're destroying this gorgeous land
for overpriced condos.
A monorail, there'll be Starbucks, another Walmart.
God, what the hell is this country coming to?
I think I'm gonna move.
- What are you city council?
Shut your yap and get back to work!
- And the well?
You still haven't told me what we're gonna do with that.
- Whatever, just fill the hole, hole filler.
- Sure! Jackass.
(air whooshes)
(exhaust rumbles)
(soil crunches)
(crows screech)
Oh man, I knew I shouldn't have had Mexican for lunch.
Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go!
(door creaks shut)
(sighs)
(ominous laughter)
- [Demon Voice] Do you want red paper or blue paper?
(ominous laughter)
(chimes)
(thuds)
(screams)
(sings in foreign language)
(eastern music)
(birds chirp)
- [Satsuki] Dad, Keiichirou, it's time to eat!
- Well, it's about damn time.
- What do you think you're doing, cat?
- [Kaya] I was eating!
- This is dad's breakfast.
Yours is right over there, down there!
(boings)
- (huffs) I don't think so.
- What you say?
- Listen kid, we need to lay a few ground rules around here.
I'm not eating cat food.
I'm not chasing mice.
There'll be no collars.
And if my fur needs to be licked, you're gonna do it.
Just because you and your nerd friends turned
my long slumber into this feline nightmare
doesn't mean I have to be happy about it!
- Well, when we did that spell,
I never thought for a minute you were gonna go
into my cat's body.
Get outta my cat, you fat, stinky, ugly demon!
(whimsical music)
- Let's get something straight here little missy!
I may be furry, but I am still Lord Amanojaku!
Which means I still have enough spiritual power to kill you.
(cat hisses)
(screams)
(fish thwaks)
- Hi.
- Something wrong, Satsuki?
- It's nothing, I'm sorry.
Don't worry dad,
I'll fix you something else for breakfast right away.
- No need to let it go to waste,
how about you just give it to Kaya?
(cat meows)
- Sure.
(feet thuds)
(cat paws patter)
What are you doing?
Quit following us!
- [Kaya] You two morons are just walking in front of me.
Watch for dogs.
- Go home, we're going to school.
- [Kaya] Sounds good, I don't have anything better to do.
- You're a cat now stupid.
- For your information,
I've been haunting that school
before you two blew into town.
- I think he's got a point.
- Don't take his side if you know what's good for you.
I can't believe our sweet, precious cat
is now possessed by Keebler Elf reject, with bad gas.
(cat growls)
(can crunches) (yelps)
(yells)
(thuds)
(moans)
- That'll teach you to make fun of me, The Lord Amanojaku.
- This is fascinating.
Even though trapped in a cat's body,
he still possesses ghostly powers,
kinda like David Blaine.
- Save it for the science fair!
- You're just jealous of my psychical research.
And you know what Harvard's president said
about girls in science.
- You may know about science,
but you don't know diddly about girls.
- I'm just waiting for a nice Jewish girl, yeah.
- Break it up, ladies.
- Hey wait, shouldn't you two guys know how to do it?
I mean how to turn Kaya back to normal?
- [Both] What?
- That's right.
You're the psychical researcher, aren't you?
- That is my area of expertise,
but except for a few pale Trekkies,
this is the creepiest thing I've ever come in contact with.
- Well then, what good are you?
- You're not coming up with ideas.
- If I could, I would have said my goodbyes long ago.
- Well, we have learned one thing.
- What did we learn? What did I miss?
- Yes, one thing.
- [Satsuki] What?
- Your light blue Hanes are total chubb material.
(gasps)
(thuds) (laughs)
(gentle chime)
- [Satsuki] My name is Satsuki, it's nice to meet you.
- Friendly greeting once, nice change.
Let's see, let's put you next to Mr. Aoyama, yeah.
- [Hajime] What?
- What in the hell?
What happened to you?
I got beat up by an apparition of Gloria Steinem.
- [Satsuki] Who are you calling an apparition?
(class laughs)
- You're in the same class as your next door neighbor,
that's great, God's great.
- Nothing great about it.
It's just like living next to Charlie Sheen.
Serious, the real problem is that demon,
it's pulling a Linda Blair with my cat.
I don't suppose you know a good exorcist
or Al Sharpton, do you?
- I don't think he's a real reverend.
What about your mother's book?
- [Satsuki] Oh!
There was a way to defeat Amanojaku inside the book.
Maybe there's a way to get rid of him in here too
and I just haven't found it.
(paper rustles)
- When I met her,
she was a homosexual destined for eternal damnation.
Then she was blessed with holy power, who knew?
- I didn't know she did either to be completely honest.
It's weird.
Wait, look here!
If you destroy the object a ghost
in spiritual sleep is occupying,
that ghost will begin haunting again!
- [Momoko] Like a soul who doesn't know Jesus,
floating without purpose.
- You're right.
However, if you try to put the ghost
back into a spiritual sleep
that ghost will take possession of a person or animal.
Decide the spot where you will make it go
to spiritual sleep.
If you do not follow this
it will be impossible to turn the one who is possessed
back to normal until all the ghosts
in the school are put back into spiritual sleep.
I hate you mother.
- Oh no, the mountain, your mother was so full of Jesus.
She saved those souls from hell
by banishing them into the forest.
But if the mountain's under development,
then that means they.
- The ghosts, all the banished ones are going to come back.
(swishes)
- [Hajime] Once again, she's the one who flashed me,
she's a tease.
And you know what kinda tease I'm talking about?
- [Leo] Um, can we not talk about this while I'm,
you know, doing.
- She's undersexed, that's not my fault!
- She's in elementary school, of course she's undersexed.
I can relate.
- Other girls at this school are getting plenty.
(stomach rumbles)
Yogurt comin' to get me.
I'm too young to be lactose intolerant.
- You're taking a dump?
- [Hajime] I prefer dropping the kids off at the pool.
- I've gotta find other friends.
(screams)
(blasts)
- [Hajime] Holy crap!
(blasts)
(screams)
(water blasts) (screams)
(water splashes) (screams)
- [Male Voice] What the hell?
- [Second Male voice] Dude, this is the coolest thing
I've ever seen.
- [Satsuki] Oh no.
- Okay kids, I'm a little fuzzy on the details,
but we've got plumbing problems.
Which means the school has no running water.
If you need to pee or anything,
just use the one at the old haunted schoolhouse.
(protesting chatter)
Settle down, I was just kidding!
There's no such thing as ghosts,
and don't even think about holding it in,
it isn't healthy.
All your butts will explode.
- [Male Voice] What, I can't believe I'm gonna have to wait
all day to go to the bathroom. - But there is a Hanako.
- Do you think the teachers know?
- Euw, what's that smell?
- Hajime may have had a little accident in the bathroom.
- I'm gonna beat your ass.
(feet thuds)
(birds chirp)
(wood creaks)
(door creaks shut)
- Too much coffee.
I should've just pissed in the sink in the teacher's lounge.
No one would've known, or maybe in Mrs. Hadley's thermos.
- [Demon Voice] Do you want red paper?
Or blue paper? - No way.
I can't believe you're sinking this low for a joke.
Who is this, Hadley?
- [Demon Voice] Do you want red paper or blue paper?
(ominous laugh)
(chimes)
(screams)
(other-worldly screeching)
(whooshes)
(class chatters)
- Shut up!
I can hear this class all, wait, where's your teacher?
- Well, he went to the bathroom.
He went to the bathroom and he hasn't come back yet.
- It must be a Hanako's curse.
I saw him, I saw him go
into the old school house's restroom.
- Hanako the bathroom ghost got him!
- Get out! - What?
- It's a ghost.
And you know, you're behind the conspiracy.
- I'm gonna beat your ass.
- You've been talking about my butt an awful lot.
- Calm down,
Hanako the bathroom ghost is just a superstition.
Now, open your books and turn a page, whatever.
Now, where's Sakata, better check the girl's locker room.
- What are we gonna do with (door scrapes shut)
this bathroom situation?
(bells chime)
(laughs)
- [Kaya] They made fun of the ghost.
That's why he ended up like that.
- What?
- You were right kid, your teacher was attacked by a ghost.
I wonder who the next victim will be?
Oh, could I be so lucky, could it be you?
- Not me cat, all I have to do
is stay away from the bathroom.
I'll just hold it and not drink fluids.
- Three, two, one.
(yelps)
- Keiichirou?
(indistinct)
What's the matter?
- [Keiichirou] (whimpers) It's cold.
You silly, why didn't you just go to the bathroom?
- Can't go.
(chuckles)
- [Satsuki] You have your gym clothes, right?
Go change, it'll be all right.
(ominous music)
- [Hajime] Hey, where are you going?
- Where do you think I'm going?
The old school house!
- Of course you are, gotta be outta your panty-wearing mind
to go in there.
- I think I'm gonna have to.
If we can't use the bathroom, what are we gonna do?
Plus, I have to find a way to turn my cat back.
- Not the cat again.
- My mom's book told me how.
If I don't put all the ghosts back to sleep
then that damn demon will be around
till I graduate from Faster.
- Don't do it.
- Don't you worry about a thing,
every little thing's gonna be all right.
- What do you mean by that?
- [Satsuki] Listen to more Bob Marley!
- Wait for me!
(screams)
- Well, what do we have here?
A class cutter.
All the bigger boys in detention are gonna love you.
- I thought you were the girl's track coach.
(door creaks) (gasps)
- Here we are again.
- Well, just don't stand there.
(water drips)
(feet thuds) - We're totally
on the same page.
- What?
- [Hajime] Don't be coy with me,
you know what I'm talking about.
Don't make me say it out loud.
- (gasp) You what?
Well, it's just, I don't know.
- I've been holding this in too long.
It's time this came out.
I gotta poop.
- What?
- I was gonna go sneak out
behind the school during lunchtime,
but you know, the whole paper thing, kinda awkward.
And like the teacher said, it's not healthy.
I sure don't want my butt to explode.
(chimes)
- What was I thinking?
I don't even like him that much anyway.
(light buzzes)
Perfect.
- Hey, hold up!
(ominous music)
I told you I gotta go.
- Suck it up weeny.
- I bet you're glad I'm here to protect you.
- You couldn't protect crumbs
from the gang of drunk roaches.
Wait, this could be your chance, something's coming.
(taps) (creaks)
- What?
(squelching) (heart thumps)
(screams)
(taps)
A ghost!
(screams)
(intense music)
(screams)
(air whooshes)
(ghost clatters)
- [Satsuki] Are you okay?
- Yeah, I can't believe I'm still holding it in.
(hand squelches) (screams)
(hand scuttles)
This was it.
The place where a Hanako appeared the other day.
(door thuds)
What is it?
- Let's check it out.
It's the fourth door,
the spiritual spot where Hanako appears from.
- Well, go ahead.
- Excuse me!
- [Hajime] It's the girl's restroom, I can't go in there.
- [Satsuki] Oh good Lord.
(ominous music)
(door creaks open)
(boings)
Momoko!
- [Hajime] What the hell is your problem?
- [Momoko] No problem, what do you mean?
What's going on?
- [Satsuki] Hello, Mr. Sakata was-
- He was attacked by Hanako the bathroom ghost.
- So that was it!
- So what was what?
- At first I thought I just had to go to the bathroom
but now I realize it was the Holy spirit.
- Wow, convulsion, that was weird.
Okay, I'm sorry, what are you saying?
You came in here alone?
Are you a moron?
- Yes, but that's beside the point.
- [Momoko] God bless you.
- According to your dead mother's spook book,
Hanako shows up from the fourth door,
like, let's make a deal.
And hello, doors one through four are all open.
- Wow, you're right.
- But I cast out Hanako in the last episode, remember?
Hanako, are you here?
- [Ghostly Voice] Yes.
(yelps)
(screams)
(ominous music)
- Look I'm on top.
- Shut up, she's saying something, stupid!
- [Momoko] Speak!
- Don't go, don't go in there.
Don't go.
- [Satsuki] Okay, I didn't nee to hear that.
- [Demon Voice] Do you want red paper
or blue paper? (screams)
- [Hajime] Pull!
(thuds)
(ominous laugh)
(hand grasps)
(screams)
- Hajime!
(thuds)
- [Momoko] Ow.
- What in the fizzidy yuk is that?
(laughs)
- [Kaya] Are we having fun yet?
- [Satsuki] You stupid cat, what is that thing?
- Oh him? He's just Akagami Aogami.
- Ikegami Origami?
- You've got that damn book, look it up yourself!
- Look it up yourself, fine.
Akagami Aogami, it is a ghost who appears from a toilet
and asks if you want red paper or blue paper.
Gimme a break!
- What the hell color should I ask for then?
- Answer red and blood will rain from the ceiling
and you'll turn all red, okay that's gross.
Answer blue and you'll turn blue
because you'll be strangled, these are our options?
What? - Lord, God, guide us.
- [Demon Voice] Do you want red paper or blue paper?
- Yellow, I'll take yellow Sharmen!
- [Demon Voice] Yellow?
- Yeah, yellow, yellow Sharmen.
- Oh God, you're so stupid.
Do I have to tell you kids everything?
You're making it worse when you ask for another color.
- Huh?
- [Demon Voice] Yellow it is!
(door creaks shut)
(floor crumbles)
- My God!
(screams)
- No, Hajime!
Just hang on!
- Hang on, why didn't I think of that?
(dramatic music)
- That place is connected to the spirit world.
If you answer with some color other than red or blue,
you're toast kid.
You get dragged into the spirit world
and you never come back.
Nice knowing ya.
- Don't just stand there, do something Satsuki!
- I'm sorry, I'm kinda locked up here.
- I forgot my Bible,
so maybe you should look at your mother's book.
- Oh yeah.
November eighth, I discovered Akagami Aogami.
I drew a shinto shrine gateway on a jar,
filled it with water and chanted,
I'll be borrowing your restroom!
And it went into spiritual sleep.
A jar!
- God will supply all of your needs according to his riches,
Philippines 4:19.
- What?
- I'm too young to die.
The only person I've had sex with is my babysitter.
- [Satsuki] Is that it?
Is that good enough?
I failed art.
- [Momoko] It's fine!
- Ya think?
What if I shaded it?
Maybe drew some cherry blossoms.
- [Momoko] Do it!
- I'll be borrowing your restroom,
I'll be borrowing your restroom,
I'll be borrowing your restroom!
(ominous laugh)
- (chuckles) You're killing me!
- I wish.
- Oh shoot, we need water.
- That's right, the book of spells said
to put water in the jar!
- [Kaya] Where are you gonna get the water?
The school's plumbing system is broken.
You're gonna have to run to the store.
I really don't think you'll make it back in time,
but while you're out,
pick me up a bottle of Osaka will you?
- [Hajime] Will you give me a hand here!
(ominous laugh)
(screams)
- Satan, you bastard.
- When I said, give me a hand, this isn't what I meant!
(screams)
- Hajime, no!
(air whooshes)
(whimpers)
Hajime!
(spell chimes)
(gasps)
- Oh come on!
- I'll be borrowing your restroom,
I'll be borrowing your restroom,
I'll be borrowing your restroom!
(rock crumble) (demon groans)
(jar chimes)
(paper crinkles)
- Whoo hoo.
- Hajime!
- Hey, I can't believe you did it.
- Amen, faith moves mountains.
- Yeah, yeah.
(groans)
(screams)
- What the hell are you kids staring at?
Go get Hadley!
- [All] You were in the toilet.
(birds chirping)
- [Satsuki] So, Hanako didn't attack Mr. Sakata after all.
- [Momoko] When a stronger spirit appears,
the weaker spirit cowers.
But all evil spirits cower before Jesus!
- [Hajime] Then what about all the Johns exploding?
- Maybe Hanako was just asking for help?
I mean, she doesn't have a real estate agent, does she?
- [Leo] Hey, the toilets are fixed now,
but boy are the lines long.
- Euw.
- I guess you couldn't hold it forever, could you?
- I'm gonna beat your ass!
(squeaks) (chokes)
(giggles)
- Hey, there's Kaya.
- Not bad this time,
I was actually betting against you.
Good thing I didn't have any cash on me.
Let's see if you can keep it up.
- [Satsuki] Hold it right there!
If I remember correctly,
you wanna get out of that body, right?
If I were you, I'd quit criticizing
and help us put these ghosts back to sleep.
- Dream on princess.
- [Satsuki] Hey!
- I'd rather cut off my left hand, I mean, paw
or die than lend a hand to you brats.
- But, you're already dead, aren't you?
- That's not the point!
Listen to me, I've got nine lives now
and I'm going to use 'em all up dying
to make sure you kids pay for what you've done to me!
(huffs)
(leaves rustle)
- Man, it's times like this
I wish we would've got a pet gerbil.
(sings in foreign language)
♪ I miss you I miss you ♪
♪ I need you I need you ♪
♪ Sexy sexy ♪
(upbeat music)
(sings in foreign language)
♪ Come back come back come back ♪
(sings in foreign language)
♪ Sexy sexy ♪
(upbeat music)
- What? What you say comes true?
- [Keiichirou] Hurry, if we don't put that thing
into spiritual sleep soon, everyone will die!
- [Satsuki] There's a curse
on the school fine arts festival.
Don't look! (blood splats)
(zaps)