(rain falling)
(thunder crackling)
(upbeat music)
(floorboards creaking)
(water dripping)
(upbeat music)
- [Man] A leak, great.
I am not getting paid enough for this.
(panting)
This place is freakin' me out,
it's just a mirror.
- [Man] Just a mirror?
(laughing)
(screaming)
♪ About you ♪
♪ About me ♪
♪ About someone ♪
♪ About something I don't know ♪
♪ Please tell me ♪
♪ A story I haven't heard before ♪
♪ In order to make it come true ♪
♪ I open up my heart now ♪
(upbeat music)
♪ Even though I'm lonely ♪
♪ How often have I been too shy to say ♪
♪ "I want you to pay attention to me?" ♪
♪ If I'm going to tell a little white lie anyway ♪
♪ I could do so more skillfully, but... ♪
♪ Living my life nervously ♪
♪ I see nothing but walls standing in my way ♪
♪ And before I know it, I'm in a labyrinth ♪
♪ I don't want a life like that! ♪
♪ If that's "the me I don't know yet" ♪
♪ Then tomorrow should be ♪
♪ A little more attractive to me ♪
(upbeat music)
- [Satsuki] God, Leo, you are the slowest storyteller.
What happened then?
- And then, when the janitor turned around,
the face in the mirror...
(screaming)
Yeah, pretty scary, don't you think?
I'm thinking about hooking up with CAA
or turning it into a series.
Ever since Lost, the nets will take anything
with a supernatural bent to it.
Originality is dead.
- No, behind you, you dope.
(upbeat music)
(screaming)
- School's over.
Will you kids go home so I can start cleaning?
(laughing)
- [Hajime] I'm glad that janitor showed up.
Our school's getting disgusting.
- [Leo] I don't understand what that powder is
they always pour on vomit.
What's up with that?
- [Girl] It's sand,
just like the sand Jesus used to heal the blind man.
- [Leo] I'm not listening to you.
- [Satsuki] If I end up
not being able to look in the mirror tonight,
it's going to be your fault, Leo.
- Are there any mirrors left in your house?
- Huh, what do you mean?
- You've lived there a while now.
Haven't you shattered them by looking at 'em?
- Oh, I just love the charming little things
that come out of that mouth of yours.
Oh, look at that.
- [Hajime] Stop it, you're stretching my lips out.
- [Satsuki] Like this is the first time
that's ever happened.
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Oh, you know what I'm referring to.
- I don't think I like your insinuation.
- [Leo] I'm home.
Mom, Mom.
Are you home?
Where are you?
I want my after-school snack.
You're not in the Manischewitz again, are you?
I'll tell dad.
I found the bottle.
You kept it down to three glasses this time.
I'm proud of you.
Not Grand Theft Auto again.
What would Hillary Clinton say?
(button clicking)
Huh?
Mom, what's going on?
- [Woman] Come rub my nipples.
- Excuse me.
- [Woman] Didn't you hear me?
Oh, never mind, I'm playing games of my own.
(screen flickering)
- [Satsuki] Mirror, mirror, in my hand,
who's the hottest chick in the land?
- [Cat] Lindsay Lohan.
- You, I know you've got paws,
but you could at least knock before you come in.
- We were calling you forever.
- What do you want?
- Leo's having a tanic appack.
- Huh?
- Satsuki, there's something strange
going on with my mother.
- [Satsuki] Not the Manischewitz again.
- No, just three glasses this time.
Something else, something harder.
She's playing video games with the TV off.
- [Satsuki] How's her score?
- [Leo] Pretty good, actually.
Kind of fuzzy on how the thing's played,
but she's got like a bazillion points.
Wait a minute.
That's not the point.
Listen, she's different, different than usual.
(upbeat music)
(screaming)
- I said it once, I'll say it again,
slow storyteller.
(phone beeping)
Now a dramatic pause.
Hajime! - So, I'm nailing this midget
when my mom walks in, (laughing)
- Hajime! - And in the midge
screams out..
- Hajime! - Hang on, I got company.
What does she want?
I'm telling a story here!
- It's probably that damn midget story again.
Leo needs us!
- Leo?
(doorbell ringing)
- Leo! - Leo!
- Open up! - Leo, open up!
- [Hajime] Leo, open the damn door!
- Why are you being so loud and obnoxious?
You're going to annoy the neighbors.
Hold it down, please.
- Do what?
- Blink twice if she's loaded.
- She's fine. - Make up your mind.
On the phone, you said she was freaking you out.
- [Leo] There's nothing wrong, really.
I love my mother.
- Okay, blink three times- (door slamming)
- I was talking- - Don't you ever
close the door on me like that again.
I'll kick your ass.
Leo, open this door!
- You little...
Remind me why I'm his friend again.
- His eyes looked kind of weird to me.
It's riddling.
His damn mother.
So, you want to go?
(upbeat music)
(students chattering in hallway)
- Oh, Satsuki, what are you doing?
- Do you think my eyebrows are even?
- I hate pride and arrogance, Proverbs 8:13.
- And I, for one,
don't see one thing you have to be proud about
or are you just hoping to grow pretty one day?
"Oh, daddy, can I please have facial reconstruction?"
(screaming)
- [Satsuki] I'll show you facial reconstruction.
You're gonna be the one needing surgery
after I bash your ugly face in
with this Encyclopedia Britannica.
- Just make sure your blind me,
so I don't have to look at you anymore.
Right, Leo?
Leo, where are you going?
Leo?
- So, who are Tweedledum and Tweedledork?
- The meek shall inherit...
I have no idea.
- [Hajime] He's been acting weird ever since last night.
First, I thought it was new drugs,
but now I wonder if it's those chess club dorks.
- [Satsuki] Let's go ask Mr. Sakata.
- [Sakata] Didn't you do something to make Leo angry?
- No more than usual.
(coughing)
- Whenever people live or work with one another,
there are bound to be times when things don't go so well.
After some time passes,
you'll be able to speak with him as you did before.
- Okay, but he seems totally different.
- [Sakata] Don't worry.
- Yay. - Yay.
Man, that guy is tweaked.
- No joke.
- I thought meth was only bad in Oregon.
- Yeah, but it's like he was a totally different person.
- Who's there?
- I just remembered Leo said the same thing.
- [Leo] It's like she's a totally different person,
person, person, person...
- It's not meth, it's another damn ghost.
(laughing)
- [Cat] Call Mensa.
- Stop doing that.
- The spiritual sleep was broken.
Now that they've awakened,
no one can escape their supernatural power.
You two won't be around much longer.
- Oh, thanks, you can go now.
- See ya.
(water running)
- Oh, Leo, what's up?
So, how is your tanic appack?
Did Satsuki Alavam or Dazax?
Oh, I guess she did.
Ew.
(upbeat music)
(screaming)
- [Satsuki] I'm home.
Katuro- - What?
- [Satsuki] Have you done your homework yet?
Oh, wait, you're dyslexic.
Done you're yet homework, have?
You, you, I'm answer.
Hey, talking me too.
Well, if you're not going to do your homework,
then at least help me with the chores.
(screen flickering)
Katuro, what are you doing?
You don't wear glasses, and certainly not Anne Cline's.
(upbeat music)
(screaming)
Dad, I've got bad news,
Katuro's wearing glasses.
Wait, that's not the bad news.
Katuro doesn't have eyes!
(screaming)
Wow, this is not good.
I mean, can we not do this?
(screaming)
Can we not negotiate this?
(screaming)
- Are you all right?
- Yeah, thank you.
Why do you have your shoes on inside the house?
- This isn't the time for cultural translation differences.
We've gotta get out of here.
(upbeat music)
A police station, thank God.
I never thought I'd be happy to see one of those things.
Hey, put the donuts down.
Drop the Krispy Kreme, Serpico,
we need your help here. - These people in my house
look like my father and my brother after...
- They're imposters!
They wear glasses, but they don't have eyes!
- I see, and did these ghosts....
Look like this?
(screaming)
(moaning)
- It's like a zombie Weight Watchers meeting.
- Yeah, it's like before weigh in.
(moaning)
- Did I say Weight Watchers?
I meant Avon.
- That or Richard Simmons sweating to the oldies.
They're monsters, idiot.
- Oh, hell.
Let's start the running away part.
- Yeah.
(moaning)
Why on Earth did we decide
to hole up in the old school house, why, why?
- Because the mall was closed, I don't know.
- [Satsuki] We passed REI, we passed an Oshmond's,
we passed Neiman's for Christ's sakes.
You're a idiot.
- Hajime, Satsuki, this way.
Come this way please.
- Leo.
- What's up with the Fire Island wrist action?
- Oh, for God's sakes,
you kids are so stupid.
You both deserve to die.
(upbeat music)
- [Leo] I'm so glad you're both safe.
I was worried about you, very worried, yeah.
I was afraid you'd already become victims of the Utsushimi.
- [Satsuki] Uma Therma sushi?
- [Leo] The ghosts of the mirror.
- [Hajime] The ghost and Mrs. Muir?
- [Leo] No, the ghosts of the mirror.
- Oh. - Oh, you mean
the ghost you grabbed the janitor was real.
- [Leo] Yes,
they trade places with people's reflections
and then walk around the city at night.
- Kind of like thriller,
a fat thriller. - Yes,
they've probably been traded out already like cars.
I think we're the only ones left.
- What'll we do?
- Okay, I'm sorry,
when are you going to need another dramatic plot point
until you decide to whip out that damn ghost book?
- Good idea, but I left it at home.
- [Leo] I'm still talking.
Hey, I've got an idea.
Why don't we stay here alone and try to fight them?
- Okay. - Okay.
- You can trust me, yeah.
- Wait.
- Wait for what?
Let's go.
- [Hajime] My BS detector's going, "Ding."
- What do you mean, Hajime?
Everything is fine. - I can read.
Not well, but I can read
and those letters are backwards.
Hello? Backwards, the letters, mirror image.
(laughing)
- So you noticed, did you?
And here I was thinking I could just quietly trap you two...
Inside the mirror.
(laughing)
(screaming)
You are the last of the humans.
Now then, come into the mirror world.
(laughing)
My mirror homies are trying to knock down the front door
like angry Avon ladies.
It's just a matter of time before they force their way in.
It might be a little painful,
like watching Two and a Half Men,
but you'll both get used to it after a while.
- I'm sorry, I've never gotten used to that show.
Now get out of my way.
I'm getting my little brother.
- Wait, mop girl!
- You're on our side?
Wait a minute, what's your angle?
What happened to my leg?
- If you break it, your little brother's
going to the retarded school in the sky.
- The ghost diary.
Nice trick, flea bag.
- I'm not doing this for you.
If you get captured,
things would be a bit inconvenient for me.
Just take the book and get out of here now.
(cat hissing)
- Why you!
You're a ghost, how dare you take the side of humans!
- They're my prey.
Your buddy didn't like this,
and doing whatever you please is ruining my plans.
Remember I was here first.
Now that we've got this pissing contest out of the way...
(glass shattering)
(screaming)
- That was so nice of him to bring us my book.
Here it is, how to put the sushi thing to sleep.
Mom's writing is terrible,
but I think it says make a barrier
by pointing a mirror toward another mirror.
- I love that trick.
- There's more.
She must have flunked every class
because she was writing in this stupid book.
Okay, it also says mirrors facing each other
are a portal to the demon world.
If we open that door, we can get back the people
who are trapped inside the mirrors.
- My legs are moving- - But I feel like
we're not getting anywhere.
(upbeat music)
- [Hajime] That's better.
(upbeat music)
Oh, God, stairs.
Let's go.
(moaning)
That is not a good look for you.
- [Satsuki] Kankles!
(screaming)
- Satsuki!
(glass shattering)
(screaming)
(laughing)
- [Satsuki] Help me!
Somebody help me!
And stop stepping on my feet.
Get off me, and give me some space.
(moaning)
How pretty.
Very pretty.
(screaming)
Hey, did you see how awesome I look?
(upbeat music)
Whoa, wow!
(moaning)
Wow, was I tripping or did that work?
- One way to find out.
(people chattering)
- I guess I need to rethink my anti-drug stance.
- I don't remember having that many drinks at happy hour.
(screaming)
Hey, what the hell happened to the door?
The principal's gonna kill me.
I'm being framed.
It's Hadley, somebody find me Hadley.
(laughing)
- Good thing that compact had an unbreakable mirror.
We would have been totally screwed
if your face would have broken that one.
Gotta love MAC.
- That compact was a keepsake from my mother,
my dead mother.
- Satsuki, I was
just kidding around- - Wait a second.
- I didn't mean to make fun...
I'm sorry. - I'm kicking ghost ass.
What's the matter with you?
- Nothing, you just gave me a heart attack, that's all.
- [Keiichirou] Satsuki!
(laughing)
- Keiichirou! - Hey!
- It was a ghost, just like I said.
There really were mirror ghosts.
I can't believe you wouldn't believe me.
You know how right I am about these things
being the school's resident psychical researcher and all.
I did wish I would've gotten a picture though,
as proof, dammit.
Then I could have sold it to Time
or used it for- - I liked the zombie Leo
better. - No, the Daily Mirror!
Wait, where are you going?
- I'm going home, finally.
- But I haven't even told you my first person
account of what happened to me being in the mirror.
You're not listening to me.
- [Hajime] I am listening,
not paying attention, but I am listening.
- [Leo] Well, if you'd been in a mirror,
I'd listened to you and attentively too.
- But then if everything was already reversed,
which world would be the real world,
would it be the mirror world or this one?
Maybe the reflection we see is real, ever thought of that?
(upbeat music)
(car horns honking)
Isn't that just freaking you out?
I mean, seriously,
isn't that just whack crap?
(laughing)
I'm playing with your mind, man.
And you know what the weird part is?
I'm not even high, not a bit, totally sober.
(laughing)
♪ From beyond the sunset, there is a mirage ♪
♪ I miss you, I miss you ♪
♪ I need you, I need you ♪
♪ Sexy, sexy ♪
(upbeat music)
♪ Hey, won't you come to my room? ♪
♪ I'll let you in on a secret ♪
♪ My heart was drenched ♪
♪ By the outrageous night as well ♪
♪ Time cannot be turned back ♪
♪ Come back, come back, come back ♪
♪ From beyond the passion, there is a mirage ♪
♪ Rock it, rock it ♪
♪ What feels good is paradise ♪
♪ If we can meet at that place ♪
♪ Which burns furiously ♪
♪ Rock it, rock it ♪
♪ Sexy, sexy ♪
(upbeat music)
- [Narrator] When you walk down a dark road,
there's something you need to be careful of.
Under no circumstances should you get lost
or the demon from the road to the underworld
will take you to the River Sunzoo.
(laughing)