1
00:00:00,949 --> 00:00:03,866
(ghostly whooshes)

2
00:00:08,731 --> 00:00:11,648
(electronic beeps)

3
00:00:14,378 --> 00:00:16,196
(mouse click)

4
00:00:16,196 --> 00:00:19,029
(hinges creaking)

5
00:00:21,598 --> 00:00:24,181
(upbeat music)

6
00:01:53,140 --> 00:01:56,057
(mysterious music)

7
00:01:57,810 --> 00:02:00,643
(keyboard clicks)

8
00:02:05,223 --> 00:02:06,056
- Mm. Ugh.

9
00:02:07,186 --> 00:02:08,882
What? What the hell is happening?

10
00:02:08,882 --> 00:02:10,063
I didn't do anything!

11
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:10,896
- I think there's a short circuit

12
00:02:10,896 --> 00:02:12,820
between the chair and the keyboard. Yeah.

13
00:02:12,820 --> 00:02:13,693
Move aside.

14
00:02:15,165 --> 00:02:17,653
(cheerful music)

15
00:02:17,653 --> 00:02:19,780
- Huh? You're so nerd-rific!

16
00:02:19,780 --> 00:02:21,670
- Computers are very delicate machines,

17
00:02:21,670 --> 00:02:23,170
and must be treated with respect.

18
00:02:23,170 --> 00:02:25,010
Kicking it or hitting
it will only interfere

19
00:02:25,010 --> 00:02:27,280
with the delicate... what are you doing?

20
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,000
- What the hell is this thing, a copier?

21
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,100
A hard drive?

22
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:31,500
- It's called a scanner.

23
00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:34,130
You use it to transfer
pictures to Myspace.com,

24
00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:36,962
or JewishNerdBoysLookingForHoochies.org.

25
00:02:36,962 --> 00:02:38,293
- Really?

26
00:02:38,293 --> 00:02:41,560
- Ahem! Listen, I had no idea I was

27
00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,090
dealing with a total novice here.

28
00:02:43,090 --> 00:02:44,450
Let's start with the basics.

29
00:02:44,450 --> 00:02:46,493
How about we talk about the mouse first?

30
00:02:46,493 --> 00:02:47,660
- The what?

31
00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:49,560
- The mouse-shaped thing on the right.

32
00:02:52,281 --> 00:02:54,013
(gasp)

33
00:02:54,013 --> 00:02:57,513
(computers powering down)

34
00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:00,280
- Want to go get lifted?

35
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,360
- Sounds great, man.

36
00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,770
- All right, keep it down you guys.

37
00:03:03,770 --> 00:03:07,243
Well, that's weird. Why
are the lights still on?

38
00:03:08,770 --> 00:03:10,830
- What's happening? Hey,
Bill Gates, what's going on?

39
00:03:10,830 --> 00:03:13,530
- I think I might've gigged the mega RAM?

40
00:03:13,530 --> 00:03:15,090
- Not even you could do that.

41
00:03:15,090 --> 00:03:17,220
But I can't say for sure what happened.

42
00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:19,440
It must be a system-wide
failure with the network,

43
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:21,470
since they all went down at once.

44
00:03:21,470 --> 00:03:23,960
- Well, if it isn't my
fault, maybe a ghost did it.

45
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,150
- Of course it did.

46
00:03:25,150 --> 00:03:27,290
- Don't be a dumbass, I was just kidding.

47
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,610
- No. It could be a distinct possibility.

48
00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:31,770
- Huh?

49
00:03:31,770 --> 00:03:34,157
- Have you ever heard of Yomi dash net?

50
00:03:34,157 --> 00:03:35,700
- [Satsuki and Hajime] Yomi-net?

51
00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:38,410
- Yes. They say it's located somewhere

52
00:03:38,410 --> 00:03:42,190
on the World Wide Spiderweb,
a ghost homepage. Yeah.

53
00:03:42,190 --> 00:03:44,680
Its actual IP address is unknown,

54
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,520
but if you do manage to find it,

55
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,600
it's said that you can
communicate with the spirit world.

56
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:50,980
But if you order books,

57
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,770
they totally screw you
on the shipping fees.

58
00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:56,480
That must be it. The
network went down because

59
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:59,893
the ghost of Yomi dash net
is trying to log onto us!

60
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,290
- Huh?

61
00:04:02,290 --> 00:04:04,338
(birds chirping)

62
00:04:04,338 --> 00:04:07,180
- [Momoko] Oh my heavens,
a ghost homepage?

63
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,460
- That's what Leo says.

64
00:04:08,460 --> 00:04:10,210
I guess this just proves that there are

65
00:04:10,210 --> 00:04:11,830
nerds in the afterlife.

66
00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:14,390
But mom didn't say anything
about internet ghosts

67
00:04:14,390 --> 00:04:15,480
in her diary.

68
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:16,920
- What's a homepage?

69
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,070
- [Momoko] Computers weren't around when

70
00:04:18,070 --> 00:04:19,230
your mother was in school.

71
00:04:19,230 --> 00:04:20,720
Why, she barely had ink pens.

72
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,410
- I don't care if your mother's diary

73
00:04:22,410 --> 00:04:25,890
never mentions Yomi dash net
or not, I know it's real!

74
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:28,980
- Real or not, you don't
know where it is, do you?

75
00:04:28,980 --> 00:04:30,340
- That's not the point.

76
00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:33,183
- I see. You know what you
call something like that?

77
00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:37,113
A load of crap.

78
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:39,417
Crap.

79
00:04:39,417 --> 00:04:42,390
- "Train up a child the way
he should go," Proverbs 22:6.

80
00:04:42,390 --> 00:04:43,670
What's a homepage?

81
00:04:43,670 --> 00:04:45,800
- Very good, little Christian soldier!

82
00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,990
And you should never see homepages.

83
00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:52,260
You see, the internet was a
blessing from the lord Jesus,

84
00:04:52,260 --> 00:04:54,680
to spread the word of
God throughout the world.

85
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:58,070
But pedophiles and Muslims
stole it and used its holy power

86
00:04:58,070 --> 00:05:00,025
to seduce children like yourself into sin.

87
00:05:00,025 --> 00:05:00,858
- Get out!

88
00:05:00,858 --> 00:05:01,780
- Not get out, get saved.

89
00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:03,737
- The Yomi-Net is real, I'll prove it.

90
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:04,748
- Huh?

91
00:05:04,748 --> 00:05:08,070
- I swear, I'll scan the
entire internet to prove it

92
00:05:08,070 --> 00:05:09,390
to you naysayers.

93
00:05:09,390 --> 00:05:12,000
It'll mean less time
on KosherKamaSutra.com,

94
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,850
but you got to do what you got to do!

95
00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:21,727
Come on, Google. Yoni-net.com. Yeah.

96
00:05:21,727 --> 00:05:23,644
(beep)

97
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,409
(frustrated groaning)

98
00:05:27,409 --> 00:05:29,057
(electrical zap)

99
00:05:29,057 --> 00:05:31,140
(scream)

100
00:05:34,784 --> 00:05:37,117
(groaning)

101
00:05:38,450 --> 00:05:39,283
- Good morning!

102
00:05:39,283 --> 00:05:41,020
- Well, good morning there, Leo.

103
00:05:41,020 --> 00:05:41,907
- It's morning, all right.

104
00:05:41,907 --> 00:05:44,323
- Did you find your
little satanic sin site?

105
00:05:45,316 --> 00:05:46,300
(groan)

106
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:48,840
- From the bags under his
eyes, I'd have to say no.

107
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:51,450
- Because there is no
such thing as Yomi-net.

108
00:05:51,450 --> 00:05:54,000
- There is such a thing as Yomi-net!

109
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,447
And I'm going to find it,

110
00:05:55,447 --> 00:05:57,773
and then you're all
going to be sorry! Yeah!

111
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:00,760
- Whatever.

112
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:04,145
- He hasn't been this upset
since they canceled Sliders.

113
00:06:04,145 --> 00:06:07,228
(school bell chimes)

114
00:06:09,617 --> 00:06:12,890
- [Leo] "You need to
persevere," Hebrews 10:36.

115
00:06:12,890 --> 00:06:14,563
My god, I'm desperate!

116
00:06:15,719 --> 00:06:17,105
(door opens)

117
00:06:17,105 --> 00:06:18,287
- Ah, there you are.

118
00:06:20,036 --> 00:06:21,350
- What do you guys want?

119
00:06:21,350 --> 00:06:23,330
- Leo, hours of looking at porn sites,

120
00:06:23,330 --> 00:06:24,220
never seen a Yomi-net.

121
00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:25,785
- Just leave me alone.

122
00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:27,680
- You know, kids would
stop talking about you

123
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:28,990
if you'd get out more.

124
00:06:28,990 --> 00:06:30,450
Kind of de-geek yourself.

125
00:06:30,450 --> 00:06:31,920
- Geeks run the world!

126
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,850
- But they're not getting
their peepees waxed,

127
00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:35,376
now are they?

128
00:06:35,376 --> 00:06:36,209
Here.

129
00:06:37,073 --> 00:06:39,310
- [Leo] What's the catch?

130
00:06:39,310 --> 00:06:41,460
- Oh my god, their stock is in the toilet,

131
00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:43,940
and now they have fruit
salads, chicken tenders,

132
00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:44,960
and tofu fries.

133
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,590
- Why would you eat there?
Didn't you see Super Size Me?

134
00:06:47,590 --> 00:06:49,230
- They had a coupon in the paper,

135
00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:50,960
and I know what a tight-ass you are.

136
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,920
Besides, they've got an
Æon Flux Giggity Meal.

137
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,510
- What? An Æon Flux Giggity Meal?

138
00:06:56,510 --> 00:06:59,420
Yes, yes! Oh my god, a
pocket-sized Charlize Theron

139
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:02,220
of my very own to carry
around with me all day long!

140
00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:04,053
Sweet! There is a god!

141
00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:07,030
- Better get extra napkins with yours.

142
00:07:07,030 --> 00:07:08,330
Can't believe I said that.

143
00:07:09,244 --> 00:07:12,596
So it's settled. Let's meet
at the creepy train station.

144
00:07:12,596 --> 00:07:15,596
(school bell rings)

145
00:07:20,410 --> 00:07:22,705
- Hey, want some candy little boy?

146
00:07:22,705 --> 00:07:25,190
Huh? Hajime, you're late.

147
00:07:25,190 --> 00:07:27,640
- I couldn't help it.
I got detention again.

148
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,200
Don't ask why. Where is everybody?

149
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,287
- They didn't want to meet you.

150
00:07:31,287 --> 00:07:32,820
The Æon Flux thing grossed them out.

151
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:35,300
- Oh, drop it.

152
00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:36,460
- So where's Leo?

153
00:07:36,460 --> 00:07:37,870
- Uh, give you one guess.

154
00:07:37,870 --> 00:07:39,650
He's on that stupid computer again,

155
00:07:39,650 --> 00:07:41,580
trying to find the Yomi-net.

156
00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:43,440
I don't want to wait for him. Let's go.

157
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:44,573
Charlize is waiting.

158
00:07:47,482 --> 00:07:50,482
(keyboard clacking)

159
00:07:54,479 --> 00:07:56,511
(sigh)

160
00:07:56,511 --> 00:07:58,428
(yawn)

161
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,300
- God, if you're listening
and there is a Yomi-net,

162
00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:04,213
would you please show it to me now?

163
00:08:05,292 --> 00:08:06,916
(electronic whir)

164
00:08:06,916 --> 00:08:07,749
- Huh?

165
00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:10,423
- Holy Moses!

166
00:08:12,338 --> 00:08:14,630
Look at it! Maybe it's...

167
00:08:17,298 --> 00:08:18,760
Yomi dash net!

168
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,250
Wow, the graphics are kind of weak.

169
00:08:26,378 --> 00:08:27,211
Huh?

170
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:29,382
Huh?

171
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:31,611
Huh?

172
00:08:34,106 --> 00:08:36,856
(ghostly sounds)

173
00:08:40,174 --> 00:08:41,507
What? That's it?

174
00:08:42,546 --> 00:08:45,963
Oh, come on. No way, after all that work?

175
00:08:52,018 --> 00:08:54,960
Oh man, I'm late. I better get going.

176
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,133
Power down.

177
00:08:58,380 --> 00:09:01,450
I had better luck hacking
Citibank's credit card database.

178
00:09:01,450 --> 00:09:03,003
Oh, the DVDs that bought.

179
00:09:06,749 --> 00:09:09,249
(door closes)

180
00:09:10,210 --> 00:09:13,170
(dramatic music sting)

181
00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:16,738
- [Keiichirou] All your
base are belong to us.

182
00:09:16,738 --> 00:09:18,552
(laughs)

183
00:09:18,552 --> 00:09:19,710
- [Satsuki] Momoko! Keiichirou!

184
00:09:19,710 --> 00:09:22,130
Hey guys, you been waiting long?

185
00:09:22,130 --> 00:09:22,963
- Not too.

186
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:24,690
- So where's Leo?

187
00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:27,640
- Who cares. I'm sorry, does
anyone else hear jingle bells?

188
00:09:29,421 --> 00:09:31,073
(train passes)

189
00:09:31,073 --> 00:09:32,580
(labored breathing)

190
00:09:32,580 --> 00:09:35,430
- I'm late! They're going to
be all out of Giggity Meals!

191
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:41,448
Oh man, where is everybody?
Who's on Oprah today?

192
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:44,870
(bells jingling)

193
00:09:44,870 --> 00:09:47,193
Those bastards, they left without me.

194
00:09:50,370 --> 00:09:51,699
- He's so late!

195
00:09:51,699 --> 00:09:53,119
- All your base are belong to us.

196
00:09:53,119 --> 00:09:54,578
- I'm getting hungry, damn.

197
00:09:54,578 --> 00:09:55,989
- All your base are belong to us.

198
00:09:55,989 --> 00:09:58,739
(bells jingling)

199
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:02,677
- Huh.

200
00:10:02,677 --> 00:10:06,199
(bells jingling)

201
00:10:06,199 --> 00:10:07,791
- [Satsuki] I can't stand it!

202
00:10:07,791 --> 00:10:09,399
I'm going to have to call the jerk.

203
00:10:09,399 --> 00:10:11,060
I hate payphones. Disgusting.

204
00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:12,759
- Excuse me, Satsuki?

205
00:10:12,759 --> 00:10:13,749
- What?

206
00:10:13,749 --> 00:10:17,340
- Verizon. Like Jesus, it
never stops working for you.

207
00:10:17,340 --> 00:10:18,173
- [Satsuki] A cell phone?

208
00:10:18,173 --> 00:10:19,006
Well lookie there,

209
00:10:19,006 --> 00:10:22,050
would've been nice to know
30 minutes ago! Thank you!

210
00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:23,440
- You can use it if you promise

211
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:24,960
not to be on the phone too long.

212
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,530
I know how you pagans
take advantage of others.

213
00:10:27,530 --> 00:10:29,540
- Well, genius, how about we call Leo?

214
00:10:29,540 --> 00:10:32,280
Or shall we mentally will him to join us?

215
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,859
- With your mental acuity, I
don't think that's an option.

216
00:10:35,859 --> 00:10:37,830
(bells ringing)

217
00:10:37,830 --> 00:10:39,393
- I'm Cillian Murphy.

218
00:10:40,762 --> 00:10:42,960
(bells ringing)

219
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,671
In 28 Days Later.

220
00:10:45,671 --> 00:10:47,850
(bells ringing)

221
00:10:47,850 --> 00:10:49,063
Or is it Silly-an?

222
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:54,633
But we did zombies in the last episode.

223
00:10:55,510 --> 00:10:57,350
I'm all alone. Forgotten.

224
00:10:57,350 --> 00:10:59,490
Like a black family in Bush America.

225
00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:00,323
(phone rings)

226
00:11:00,323 --> 00:11:03,480
That must be FEMA! Late, of course.

227
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,140
Mr. Brown?

228
00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:07,400
- [Hajime] Leo, where the hell are you?

229
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,270
I am starving, and I'm sick
of waiting for your ass.

230
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:13,030
- [Leo] And I'm sick of
waiting for you! Where are you?

231
00:11:13,030 --> 00:11:14,130
- What do you mean, where?

232
00:11:14,130 --> 00:11:16,020
We're at the train station, you idiot!

233
00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:18,410
And I'm tired of hearing jingle bells!

234
00:11:18,410 --> 00:11:19,940
- [Leo] I am at the train station!

235
00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:20,890
- Say what?

236
00:11:20,890 --> 00:11:23,180
- [Leo] I'm at the train
station, right here!

237
00:11:23,180 --> 00:11:24,909
And I've been here forever!

238
00:11:24,909 --> 00:11:26,810
And I'm so very lonely.

239
00:11:26,810 --> 00:11:28,853
- What? How high are you?

240
00:11:28,853 --> 00:11:30,710
- [Leo] There's no one around!

241
00:11:30,710 --> 00:11:33,910
I can't hear anything, I'm
freaking out! Paranoid!

242
00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:36,203
- You smoked all of it, didn't you?

243
00:11:36,203 --> 00:11:37,170
I mean, what are you talking about?

244
00:11:37,170 --> 00:11:38,370
There are tons of people here.

245
00:11:38,370 --> 00:11:42,010
- [Leo] You smoked all of
it! There's no one here!

246
00:11:42,010 --> 00:11:45,063
Hey, wait a minute, what if...

247
00:11:45,063 --> 00:11:45,920
What if...

248
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,954
(bells ringing)

249
00:11:47,954 --> 00:11:48,787
Huh?

250
00:11:52,933 --> 00:11:54,882
- [Hajime] Leo? Leo? Leo!

251
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:56,114
- I see a girl.

252
00:11:56,114 --> 00:11:57,973
- [Hajime] A girl? Really?

253
00:12:01,593 --> 00:12:04,013
What does she look like? Leo? Leo!

254
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,130
- Hey, calling plan Patty's
going to get pissed.

255
00:12:08,130 --> 00:12:12,080
- Something's not right. I
mean, he's on a booty call.

256
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,030
This has got to be the work of a ghost.

257
00:12:16,181 --> 00:12:19,133
(bells ringing)

258
00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:22,133
(labored breathing)

259
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,283
- Hey, little mini geisha, wait a minute!

260
00:12:40,711 --> 00:12:43,090
(bells ringing)

261
00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:43,923
Hello?

262
00:12:45,293 --> 00:12:47,293
(sighs)

263
00:12:48,482 --> 00:12:51,149
(ghostly noise)

264
00:12:52,061 --> 00:12:54,228
(screams)

265
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,943
Hey, can you help me?

266
00:12:59,410 --> 00:13:01,823
I'm lost. I think I'm lost.

267
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,260
You, you don't talk much.

268
00:13:05,260 --> 00:13:07,360
Do you know where everybody went, exactly?

269
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,351
(whimpers)

270
00:13:15,351 --> 00:13:18,018
(ominous music)

271
00:13:22,973 --> 00:13:24,223
Ow, ow, ow, ow.

272
00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:26,500
Could I have...

273
00:13:27,561 --> 00:13:29,370
(screams)

274
00:13:29,370 --> 00:13:31,760
Smoked so much I don't
remember getting high?

275
00:13:32,758 --> 00:13:33,591
Yeah.

276
00:13:34,442 --> 00:13:35,610
(phone rings)

277
00:13:35,610 --> 00:13:37,551
(screams)

278
00:13:37,551 --> 00:13:39,718
(panting)

279
00:13:41,122 --> 00:13:42,762
I'm hot and I'm dying.

280
00:13:42,762 --> 00:13:43,595
- [Satsuki] Leo!

281
00:13:43,595 --> 00:13:45,151
- Satsuki, please help!

282
00:13:45,151 --> 00:13:46,453
- [Satsuki] I know I told you to dig deep,

283
00:13:46,453 --> 00:13:47,470
but if you're getting laid
I'm going to kill you!

284
00:13:47,470 --> 00:13:49,210
- I wish I was getting laid!

285
00:13:49,210 --> 00:13:53,668
Instead I'm in a field of
dreams! Bad internet dreams!

286
00:13:53,668 --> 00:13:56,253
I'm being punished for
all those hours online.

287
00:13:57,250 --> 00:13:59,330
- [Satsuki] Suck it up,
Leo, and talk slower.

288
00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:00,828
I can't understand you,

289
00:14:00,828 --> 00:14:03,055
you're whining like a little bitch.

290
00:14:03,055 --> 00:14:05,495
- [Leo] That's it! Yomi dash net!

291
00:14:05,495 --> 00:14:06,940
- [Satsuki] God, not that again.

292
00:14:06,940 --> 00:14:10,060
- It's the Yomi dash net. I'm trapped.

293
00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:11,676
- I am starving!

294
00:14:11,676 --> 00:14:13,220
- [Leo] Listen, I need
you to go to the school's

295
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,280
computer room for me.

296
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,960
I was on one of the computers there,

297
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,080
and screw me to the sidewalk,
I found Yomi dash net.

298
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:20,650
You have to help.

299
00:14:20,650 --> 00:14:22,570
You suck at computers, but
I can walk you through it.

300
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,910
The future of my world depends on it.

301
00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:26,529
- [Satsuki] Oh, all right.

302
00:14:26,529 --> 00:14:29,047
(ominous rumbling)

303
00:14:29,047 --> 00:14:31,595
- [Satsuki] Leo? Leo! Hello?

304
00:14:31,595 --> 00:14:34,007
(screaming)

305
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,497
Hey, what's wrong?

306
00:14:35,497 --> 00:14:37,490
- [Leo] Giant fiery
ball coming to kill me,

307
00:14:37,490 --> 00:14:38,650
that's what's wrong!

308
00:14:38,650 --> 00:14:39,900
- Okay, if we want to eat,

309
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:41,130
we've got to go to the computer room.

310
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:41,963
- Fine!

311
00:14:43,725 --> 00:14:47,436
- Faster, Leo, faster!

312
00:14:47,436 --> 00:14:50,436
(rumbling, screams)

313
00:14:59,522 --> 00:15:02,272
(dramatic music)

314
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:07,830
- His computer's still
on! He's in trouble.

315
00:15:07,830 --> 00:15:10,051
- Dude, we're getting a Dell.

316
00:15:10,051 --> 00:15:11,245
(gasps)

317
00:15:11,245 --> 00:15:13,213
- [Satsuki] Dude got busted for pot.

318
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:14,434
Oh, Leo!

319
00:15:14,434 --> 00:15:15,343
- Leo, what do we do?

320
00:15:15,343 --> 00:15:18,130
- What do we do? He's
trapped in the internet,

321
00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:20,500
somehow I don't think control
alt delete is going to cut it!

322
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:22,550
And it's been years since I've seen Tron.

323
00:15:26,573 --> 00:15:30,444
- I made it. Who knew
Jews could run so fast.

324
00:15:30,444 --> 00:15:32,870
Huh? A bunch of somber, quiet people

325
00:15:32,870 --> 00:15:36,370
against a red nuclear sky
near a river of blood.

326
00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,720
Wow, that doesn't look threatening at all.

327
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,123
Oh, thank god. Hey!

328
00:15:43,050 --> 00:15:45,193
Where do I get ferry tokens?

329
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:48,693
Peter Jennings!

330
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,143
He must be covering a story.

331
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,453
Wait a minute. Peter Jennings is dead.

332
00:15:57,470 --> 00:16:01,130
And there's William Rehnquist, Bob Denver,

333
00:16:01,130 --> 00:16:05,150
Christian Slater's career.
All dead. Where is this?

334
00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:07,612
- [Mysterious Girl] It's the River Sanzu.

335
00:16:07,612 --> 00:16:08,940
- What?

336
00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:11,120
- You know. A river.

337
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,993
- It can't be! That's for dead people,

338
00:16:12,993 --> 00:16:15,890
I'm not going there no matter what!

339
00:16:15,890 --> 00:16:17,532
- No matter what?

340
00:16:17,532 --> 00:16:19,590
- No matter what!

341
00:16:19,590 --> 00:16:23,073
- Hang on, I have to do
something. Check this out.

342
00:16:27,550 --> 00:16:29,490
Put you on that boat by force!

343
00:16:31,042 --> 00:16:32,880
(screams)

344
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,720
- That's Leo! I'd know
that girly scream anywhere!

345
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,760
Don't die in there, Leo,
you owe me five bucks!

346
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,280
- Momoko, dial!

347
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,530
- Hold on. Signal faded,
call lost, gosh darn Verizon.

348
00:16:42,530 --> 00:16:44,692
Oh, it went through like a prayer.

349
00:16:44,692 --> 00:16:48,870
(monster growling, phone ringing)

350
00:16:48,870 --> 00:16:51,300
- What is it? I'm a little busy right now!

351
00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:52,760
- Well, we're trying to save you,

352
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,710
but perhaps you're beyond salvation.

353
00:16:54,710 --> 00:16:57,000
- No! Give me the phone. And shut up.

354
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,070
Can you hear me? Leo?

355
00:16:59,070 --> 00:17:04,070
Come in. Come in, Leo, come
in. This connection sucks!

356
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,640
- [Leo] Google River Sanzu!

357
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,297
- The River Sanzu?

358
00:17:08,297 --> 00:17:10,740
- "Train up a child, in
the way he should go."

359
00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:11,740
What's happening?

360
00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:14,730
- Well, in Buddhism, it's a
river they say people cross

361
00:17:14,730 --> 00:17:17,080
when they die, and it
leads to the next world.

362
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,310
But Born Again Christians know the truth.

363
00:17:19,310 --> 00:17:22,470
Buddhism leads to one
place, and that's hell.

364
00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:24,540
- Okay, the religious
right says you're screwed.

365
00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:27,060
Can you lay your hands on a boat, Leo?

366
00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:29,107
- Huh? What's that? Ew!

367
00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:31,660
- Leo? Is that your date?

368
00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:32,810
- That, I can believe.

369
00:17:32,810 --> 00:17:35,892
- Swear to God, she was a hell
of a lot prettier earlier!

370
00:17:35,892 --> 00:17:36,725
- Leo, run!

371
00:17:36,725 --> 00:17:39,240
- Wait a minute. In
addition to false religions,

372
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,560
the devil can take many forms
to trick people off the path.

373
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,033
Think Jesse Jackson.

374
00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:48,603
- Leo has a date, demonic
form, Jesse Jackson.

375
00:17:49,730 --> 00:17:50,610
Here's your phone.

376
00:17:50,610 --> 00:17:51,520
- Thanks.

377
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,070
- I'm sorry, what are we doing?

378
00:17:54,970 --> 00:17:58,333
- Hang on, give me a sec. There it is!

379
00:18:00,220 --> 00:18:01,430
February seventh.

380
00:18:01,430 --> 00:18:04,410
Townspeople continue to
be suddenly spirited away.

381
00:18:04,410 --> 00:18:05,970
This must be the doing of a demon

382
00:18:05,970 --> 00:18:07,480
from the Road of the Underworld.

383
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:10,210
It lures those who have
become lost onto the road,

384
00:18:10,210 --> 00:18:12,370
then takes them to the River Sanzu.

385
00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:14,240
- How do we banish this demon?

386
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,470
- To make it back from the
Road of the Underworld,

387
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:19,830
hold up the talisman and chant
that you want to go home.

388
00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:21,710
It's a paper talisman, that's no good!

389
00:18:21,710 --> 00:18:22,810
Need a new plan.

390
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,130
- But it can get Leo out of there!

391
00:18:24,130 --> 00:18:25,720
God, you ruin everything, don't you.

392
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:26,953
- Yes, I do.

393
00:18:27,832 --> 00:18:31,424
(monster roaring)

394
00:18:31,424 --> 00:18:33,757
(screaming)

395
00:18:35,987 --> 00:18:39,130
(monster laughing, roaring)

396
00:18:39,130 --> 00:18:40,670
- Like I said, it's paper,

397
00:18:40,670 --> 00:18:42,362
how are we going to get it to Leo?

398
00:18:42,362 --> 00:18:44,018
- I don't know.

399
00:18:44,018 --> 00:18:45,623
(gasps)

400
00:18:45,623 --> 00:18:48,970
- A scanner. You use it to
transfer pictures to Myspace.com

401
00:18:48,970 --> 00:18:51,720
or JewishNerdBoysLookingForHoochies.org.

402
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,930
- I'm on it dot com. I'm a genius.

403
00:18:53,930 --> 00:18:55,890
Hajime, out of the way.

404
00:18:55,890 --> 00:18:57,293
- [Hajime] You are so rude.

405
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,350
- Hello, am I the only one
here? Don't just stand there,

406
00:19:01,350 --> 00:19:03,610
transfer my scanner
thingie! Move it, Christian!

407
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:04,443
- Right.

408
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,540
- [Hajime] Hello, I'm in this show too.

409
00:19:08,540 --> 00:19:10,490
- [Satsuki] Good Lord, are
you typing with your feet?

410
00:19:10,490 --> 00:19:11,810
Move it!

411
00:19:11,810 --> 00:19:13,760
- Okay, I so don't know what's going on.

412
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:17,970
- You can shut up. We're trying
to save your geek boyfriend.

413
00:19:17,970 --> 00:19:20,887
(panting, whining)

414
00:19:26,488 --> 00:19:29,140
(monster laughs)

415
00:19:29,140 --> 00:19:31,250
- If you don't get on that boat,

416
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:33,827
you can't cross the River Sanzu!

417
00:19:35,096 --> 00:19:37,660
Or will you drown here and die again?

418
00:19:41,530 --> 00:19:42,973
- [Momoko] Download complete.

419
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:43,960
- [Satsuki] Send it already!

420
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:44,793
- [Momoko] Okay.

421
00:19:45,688 --> 00:19:48,430
- Yeah. That's it. Wait, that laugh,

422
00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:50,270
like in the movies. Giving
my friends time to...

423
00:19:51,228 --> 00:19:52,440
- What are you doing?

424
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:53,637
- Sweet!

425
00:19:53,637 --> 00:19:54,808
- [Satsuki] Don't have many minutes left,

426
00:19:54,808 --> 00:19:55,641
are you there?

427
00:19:55,641 --> 00:19:56,474
- I'm listening, go!

428
00:19:56,474 --> 00:19:57,520
- Leo, just grab the talisman.

429
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,188
Don't know what to do, so just
make up some crap about home.

430
00:20:00,188 --> 00:20:02,426
(grunting)

431
00:20:02,426 --> 00:20:05,093
(monster roars)

432
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,360
(gasp)

433
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:10,027
- Show me the way to go home,

434
00:20:10,027 --> 00:20:11,170
I'm tired and I want to go to bed,

435
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:12,907
I had a little drink about an hour ago

436
00:20:12,907 --> 00:20:14,637
and it's gone straight to my head!

437
00:20:14,637 --> 00:20:17,470
(monster screams)

438
00:20:19,978 --> 00:20:20,978
- The light!

439
00:20:25,450 --> 00:20:26,930
- What happened? Who cut the cable?

440
00:20:26,930 --> 00:20:28,173
- You've got me.

441
00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:31,949
(distant thump)

442
00:20:31,949 --> 00:20:32,782
- Huh?

443
00:20:32,782 --> 00:20:34,239
- Keiichirou?

444
00:20:34,239 --> 00:20:36,328
- What are you doing here?

445
00:20:36,328 --> 00:20:38,230
- [Momoko] His people have been let go.

446
00:20:38,230 --> 00:20:39,870
- [Satsuki] Thank God
I'm so good at computers.

447
00:20:39,870 --> 00:20:41,350
- Oh, Leo.

448
00:20:41,350 --> 00:20:43,473
- Get it together, shaky! What happened?

449
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,003
- I had a date. She was pretty once.

450
00:20:50,610 --> 00:20:52,600
- [Hajime] I told you it was a ghost.

451
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:57,450
I mean, Leo plus girl equals
some kind of Satanic activity.

452
00:20:57,450 --> 00:20:59,660
No offense, Leo. But come on, I mean,

453
00:20:59,660 --> 00:21:01,387
you're no Hajime.

454
00:21:01,387 --> 00:21:02,510
(mock vomiting)

455
00:21:02,510 --> 00:21:03,980
- [Satsuki] Excuse me.

456
00:21:03,980 --> 00:21:06,800
Look, these days you can get
anything on the internet,

457
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,800
it's not that surprising to
me that ghosts are using it.

458
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,130
I just wish we'd learned
some moral out of this.

459
00:21:12,130 --> 00:21:15,120
Danger's gone, music's swelling,
it's very Brady, you know?

460
00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:18,090
- You know what, if she wouldn't
have turned into a demon,

461
00:21:18,090 --> 00:21:20,450
I bet that girl and I could've
been really happy together,

462
00:21:20,450 --> 00:21:21,917
you know? Yeah.

463
00:21:21,917 --> 00:21:23,330
(stomach rumbling)

464
00:21:23,330 --> 00:21:26,810
- Pardon me. I'm kind of hungry.

465
00:21:26,810 --> 00:21:30,373
- Hey, we still haven't eaten
yet. Let's hit McGiggity's.

466
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:31,740
- Yeah!

467
00:21:31,740 --> 00:21:33,023
- You're treating, Leo.

468
00:21:33,890 --> 00:21:35,543
- What? Why me?

469
00:21:37,010 --> 00:21:39,701
- Why? Because Jewish people rock!

470
00:21:39,701 --> 00:21:41,528
- Finally! Charlize, here I come!

471
00:21:41,528 --> 00:21:45,861
- Could we all kind of,
like, go someplace cheaper?

472
00:21:52,461 --> 00:21:54,961
(funky music)

473
00:23:20,686 --> 00:23:22,198
(thunder)

474
00:23:22,198 --> 00:23:25,115
(mysterious music)

475
00:23:28,559 --> 00:23:31,476
(glass shattering)