1 00:00:00,911 --> 00:00:04,028 (static whooshing) 2 00:00:04,028 --> 00:00:07,195 (clock tower chiming) 3 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:16,590 - All right, everybody. 4 00:00:16,590 --> 00:00:17,670 It's 4:30. 5 00:00:17,670 --> 00:00:19,500 School is finally over. 6 00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:21,840 Time to go home, load up that bong 7 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:23,893 and watch "Pokemon", not! 8 00:00:24,860 --> 00:00:26,900 Wow, I feel just like Christian Slater 9 00:00:26,900 --> 00:00:28,297 in "Pump Up The Volume". 10 00:00:29,370 --> 00:00:32,830 Oh, remember when Christian Slater had a career? 11 00:00:32,830 --> 00:00:34,100 Well, enough about deadbeat actors. 12 00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:35,700 This is Suzie Haang signing off. 13 00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:39,720 - [Yayoi] And clear. 14 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,834 Green apple martinis? - Yeah. 15 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,330 - [Mysterious Voice] You'll die. 16 00:00:44,330 --> 00:00:45,350 - [Girls] What? 17 00:00:45,350 --> 00:00:47,640 - [Mysterious Voice] You'll pay. 18 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:49,810 - Wait, are you talking to me or her? 19 00:00:49,810 --> 00:00:53,477 - [Mysterious Voice] 10, nine, eight, seven, 20 00:00:56,995 --> 00:00:57,828 six, five, 21 00:01:00,666 --> 00:01:01,666 three, two. 22 00:01:04,274 --> 00:01:09,274 (girl screaming) (ominous music) 23 00:01:17,439 --> 00:01:22,439 (singing in foreign language) (upbeat music) 24 00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:51,418 (ominous music) 25 00:02:53,167 --> 00:02:57,030 - Whoever took Mimi's lunch, please give it back, 26 00:02:57,030 --> 00:02:59,319 without boogers in it this time! 27 00:02:59,319 --> 00:03:01,910 (kids chattering) 28 00:03:01,910 --> 00:03:04,640 All right, I've gotta fill in for the junior today show. 29 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:05,970 Try not to choke on your food. 30 00:03:05,970 --> 00:03:07,986 The nurse isn't outta rehab yet. 31 00:03:07,986 --> 00:03:10,819 (kids chattering) 32 00:03:16,953 --> 00:03:19,370 (boy groans) 33 00:03:22,473 --> 00:03:25,350 - Hey, what's the big idea? 34 00:03:25,350 --> 00:03:28,880 - You eat those, and I give the panties back, I promise. 35 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:29,853 - All right. 36 00:03:31,490 --> 00:03:33,440 - Doesn't it seem a little quiet today? 37 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,780 - It was until you opened your big mouth. 38 00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:36,890 - I believe she's referring 39 00:03:36,890 --> 00:03:38,900 to the school's imposed radio silence. 40 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:40,593 - God, what a fag. 41 00:03:44,054 --> 00:03:46,721 (ominous music) 42 00:03:55,290 --> 00:03:57,760 - Because the broadcast students are all out sick today, 43 00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:59,410 I'll be filling in. 44 00:03:59,410 --> 00:04:02,483 Welcome to the Nooner with Bobby Matsushima. 45 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,973 I'm your host, Bobby Matsushima. 46 00:04:06,900 --> 00:04:09,391 Let's start off lunch with a bang. 47 00:04:09,391 --> 00:04:13,427 - This teacher needs to get laid more than you do, Leo. 48 00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,490 - You're right. 49 00:04:15,490 --> 00:04:18,250 - Oh yeah, bang me till I'm screamin' 50 00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:19,770 by raging horny pussy sluts. 51 00:04:19,770 --> 00:04:21,610 Oh, this is perfect. 52 00:04:21,610 --> 00:04:23,810 Oh, and just enough time to fit in a douche. 53 00:04:28,420 --> 00:04:29,313 Oh no! 54 00:04:30,910 --> 00:04:31,890 Lock's a little dicey. 55 00:04:31,890 --> 00:04:33,163 Better not use this room. 56 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:42,970 - Are you sure? 57 00:04:42,970 --> 00:04:46,780 - Mm-hm, she fell unconscious after her broadcast yesterday. 58 00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:49,180 If Christian Slater was filming "Cheaper by the Dozen: 6", 59 00:04:49,180 --> 00:04:50,140 I'd suspect him. 60 00:04:50,140 --> 00:04:51,610 Steve Martin, I forgive 61 00:04:51,610 --> 00:04:53,850 because at least he uses his stuck up paychecks 62 00:04:53,850 --> 00:04:56,270 to pay the bills while he writes well-received novellas, 63 00:04:56,270 --> 00:04:57,730 but Eugene Levy's just a Jew. 64 00:04:57,730 --> 00:04:59,050 - But you're Jew, Leo. 65 00:04:59,050 --> 00:05:02,530 - I know, but this looks like the work 66 00:05:02,530 --> 00:05:04,150 of another bitter ghost. 67 00:05:04,150 --> 00:05:05,140 - Don't do that. 68 00:05:05,140 --> 00:05:06,450 - Radio jocks are drug addicts. 69 00:05:06,450 --> 00:05:08,110 She probably just OD'd. 70 00:05:08,110 --> 00:05:11,080 - This school needs Sirius, I'm serious 71 00:05:18,170 --> 00:05:20,220 - Where is Annie Apacelot. 72 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:21,053 - Leave me alone. 73 00:05:21,053 --> 00:05:23,698 I'm doing my standard anime elbows-up pose. 74 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:25,833 - [Mr. Sakata] Miyanoshita. 75 00:05:25,833 --> 00:05:27,350 - Hey, Teach. 76 00:05:27,350 --> 00:05:28,370 - Miss Matsu wants me. 77 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:31,240 I mean, Miss Matsushima needs a little favor. 78 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,073 - No, please kill me. 79 00:05:36,788 --> 00:05:39,760 What, you want me to do the broadcast? 80 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,200 - Say, weren't you like the little, 81 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,200 but less fiscally aggressive Katie Couric 82 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:44,560 at your previous school? 83 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,400 - I prefer to think of myself as Michelle Norris. 84 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:48,790 - Good, then you can do the broadcast 85 00:05:48,790 --> 00:05:50,860 so I can get my brains banged out by Mr. Sakata 86 00:05:50,860 --> 00:05:51,970 before third period. 87 00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:53,360 I mean, Mr. Sakata and I 88 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,280 have a very private teacher-teacher conference 89 00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:56,770 we have to do this afternoon. 90 00:05:56,770 --> 00:05:57,760 - Oh wow. 91 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,510 I can't even comprehend how inappropriate this is. 92 00:06:00,510 --> 00:06:01,660 - [Yayoi] Where's the DJ nerd? 93 00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:02,910 - Oh, who knows? 94 00:06:02,910 --> 00:06:05,470 I was giving you an F on that terrible term paper you did 95 00:06:05,470 --> 00:06:07,260 when she came in complaining of cramps. 96 00:06:07,260 --> 00:06:10,550 I tried to be consoling, but I really don't like her. 97 00:06:10,550 --> 00:06:11,690 If her mother didn't tell her 98 00:06:11,690 --> 00:06:13,670 what a fucking bitch blood and pain is every month, 99 00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:15,233 it ain't my goddamn problem. 100 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:17,400 - I'll do the broadcast 101 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,800 if you never talk to me again please. 102 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:20,660 - Good girl. 103 00:06:20,660 --> 00:06:21,960 You keep sucking up like this 104 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,380 and I'll make you valedictorian. 105 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:24,733 Harvard's in the bag. 106 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:29,330 - Okay, but I want prime time next year, got it? 107 00:06:29,330 --> 00:06:31,680 - Good, I've got a hot load with my name on it. 108 00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:34,650 - [Hajime] Sakata's bangin' the living fuck 109 00:06:34,650 --> 00:06:36,540 outta Matsushima. 110 00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:38,453 - Are you gonna take video for me? 111 00:06:39,490 --> 00:06:41,670 Hey, did my sister go too? 112 00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:43,800 - No, dude, I don't think they invited her. 113 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:44,743 - Gee. 114 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,770 - [Momoko] Blessings be. 115 00:06:47,770 --> 00:06:49,700 - [Keiichiro] Boy, have you guys missed everything. 116 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,600 - [Leo] Hey, where's your sister, Keiichiro? 117 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,710 - Well, one thing's for sure, 118 00:06:52,710 --> 00:06:54,960 she's not getting the living fuck banged out of her 119 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,323 by Mr. Sakata. 120 00:06:56,323 --> 00:06:57,200 - What? - What? 121 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,323 - They're poisoning his mind. 122 00:06:58,323 --> 00:07:00,279 - [Hajime] What are you really here for? 123 00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:03,760 - Well, we heard from the others in the broadcast club. 124 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,160 Yayoi called everyone last night and said- 125 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,900 - Don't go into the broadcast booth, no matter what you do. 126 00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:10,900 Okay, good night and good luck. 127 00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:12,980 - I'm feeling an immense sense of evil emanating 128 00:07:12,980 --> 00:07:15,295 from the liberal broadcasting studio. 129 00:07:15,295 --> 00:07:16,128 - Oh. - Oh. 130 00:07:18,180 --> 00:07:19,440 - What a surprise. 131 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,850 - I saw you beating off the other day, tiny, 132 00:07:21,850 --> 00:07:23,462 or should I say speedy? 133 00:07:23,462 --> 00:07:25,312 Anywho, looks like a ghost showed up. 134 00:07:26,790 --> 00:07:29,140 - Power, how hard can this be? 135 00:07:29,140 --> 00:07:32,060 All means it broadcasts to all the school 136 00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:34,310 and laid means I'm horny. 137 00:07:34,310 --> 00:07:36,730 I've explained it six times and Sakata's waiting. 138 00:07:36,730 --> 00:07:38,500 Do you have this down yet? 139 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,490 - Yes. 140 00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:41,690 - [Miss Matsushima] At 4:30, hit all. 141 00:07:41,690 --> 00:07:42,860 Got it? 142 00:07:42,860 --> 00:07:44,350 Ooh, that reminds me. 143 00:07:44,350 --> 00:07:46,730 I've got something hard and bent waiting for me. 144 00:07:46,730 --> 00:07:48,270 - God, you're making me sick. 145 00:07:48,270 --> 00:07:51,437 - One day you'll understand the benefits of a good curve. 146 00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:52,620 - Go! 147 00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:54,820 - [Miss Matsushima] God, I hope Sakata's curves hard left. 148 00:07:54,820 --> 00:07:56,913 That hits my spot like you won't believe. 149 00:07:56,913 --> 00:07:57,913 - [Satsuki] Get out! 150 00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:01,573 - Oh, this is not happening. 151 00:08:03,470 --> 00:08:04,360 That was a close one. 152 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:05,900 I thought I was gonna have to have you do me 153 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:06,780 for a second there. 154 00:08:06,780 --> 00:08:08,936 Or at least have a moment alone with that mic. 155 00:08:08,936 --> 00:08:09,769 - Bye! 156 00:08:11,004 --> 00:08:12,110 - [Hajime] Like the ugly chick fired 157 00:08:12,110 --> 00:08:13,150 from the weather channel. 158 00:08:13,150 --> 00:08:15,540 - Exactly, just another bitter newscaster. 159 00:08:15,540 --> 00:08:17,390 But this one happened to die of a heart attack 160 00:08:17,390 --> 00:08:18,720 in the middle of her broadcast. 161 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,350 Why can't that happen to Carson Daly? 162 00:08:21,350 --> 00:08:22,820 After that, it's said 163 00:08:22,820 --> 00:08:25,410 that you can hear her sometimes through the speakers. 164 00:08:25,410 --> 00:08:27,560 Probably still trying to finish her broadcast. 165 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:30,150 I mean, do we really need another Clearasil commercial 166 00:08:30,150 --> 00:08:31,090 on this campus? 167 00:08:31,090 --> 00:08:32,730 Wash your face, for God's sake. 168 00:08:32,730 --> 00:08:33,620 Well, where was I? 169 00:08:33,620 --> 00:08:35,020 Oh yeah, rumor has it 170 00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:38,203 if you hear Akane's voice, you're dead by sunset. 171 00:08:39,940 --> 00:08:40,953 - This is Satsuki Miyanoshita 172 00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:43,560 with this late breaking news update. 173 00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:45,160 - [Amanojaku] Somehow she's back on the air. 174 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:46,257 Stay tuned. 175 00:08:46,257 --> 00:08:48,780 - [Satsuki] Homeroom teacher, Mr. Sakata has herpes. 176 00:08:48,780 --> 00:08:50,480 - Guess, she was just testing her powers, 177 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,101 giving those kids a fever. 178 00:08:52,101 --> 00:08:55,101 (suspenseful music) 179 00:08:58,110 --> 00:08:58,980 God, you are four 180 00:08:58,980 --> 00:09:01,440 of the ugliest fucking kids I have ever had the misfortune 181 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:02,400 of laying my eyes on. 182 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,930 I can't wait for this bitch to kill you. 183 00:09:04,930 --> 00:09:06,890 - Leo, when the hell do they go off the air? 184 00:09:06,890 --> 00:09:09,330 - Right before Pokemon, duh! 185 00:09:09,330 --> 00:09:10,163 - None of this would happen 186 00:09:10,163 --> 00:09:11,527 if they would hear "Focus on the Family", 187 00:09:11,527 --> 00:09:12,860 "The Old-Time Gospel Hour" 188 00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:14,210 and Jars of Clay. 189 00:09:14,210 --> 00:09:15,043 - [Hajime] This'll be worse 190 00:09:15,043 --> 00:09:16,903 than John Stossel's "20/20" segments! 191 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,550 - Will he ever trim that mustache. 192 00:09:20,550 --> 00:09:23,450 - Another "Lost" cast member is arrested for DUI. 193 00:09:23,450 --> 00:09:25,388 Satsuki Miyanoshita, reporting. 194 00:09:25,388 --> 00:09:27,518 (kids gasping) 195 00:09:27,518 --> 00:09:31,153 ♪ We've got the power ♪ 196 00:09:31,153 --> 00:09:32,720 - [Miss Matsushima] He gets an A on size 197 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:34,103 but a D in endurance. 198 00:09:36,990 --> 00:09:38,260 - [Satsuki] And the hottest newscaster 199 00:09:38,260 --> 00:09:40,867 of the year is Satsuki Miyanoshita. 200 00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:46,499 - Good thing I work out so much at 24. 201 00:09:46,499 --> 00:09:48,423 - [Satsuki] (speaking in foreign language) on! 202 00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:52,090 - Don't work out enough. 203 00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:55,460 Satsuki, open up! 204 00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:56,928 I do more cardio than circuit. 205 00:09:56,928 --> 00:09:58,511 - Satsuki, Satsuki! 206 00:09:59,454 --> 00:10:01,671 - [Momoko] Satsuki, stop! 207 00:10:01,671 --> 00:10:02,882 (clock ticks) 208 00:10:02,882 --> 00:10:05,549 (bells chiming) 209 00:10:06,927 --> 00:10:08,566 (kids gasping) 210 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:11,220 - Our president is an idiot and a liar. 211 00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:14,663 God bless America, land of free speech! 212 00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,460 And while I'm on it, 213 00:10:21,460 --> 00:10:23,640 that fat-faced doughboy Scott McClelland 214 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,680 is going straight to hell 215 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:28,132 and will Clarence Thomas ever speak? 216 00:10:28,132 --> 00:10:31,549 - [Eerie Voice] Everyone is going to die. 217 00:10:34,140 --> 00:10:35,575 - Ah, I heard it! 218 00:10:35,575 --> 00:10:36,742 I'm gonna die. 219 00:10:37,830 --> 00:10:40,527 - [Eerie Voice] Does (indistinct). 220 00:10:40,527 --> 00:10:42,450 You'll die. 221 00:10:42,450 --> 00:10:43,283 - What? 222 00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:50,054 - [Eerie Voice] Not a single person can get away. 223 00:10:50,054 --> 00:10:52,971 No one, I mean not anybody, get me? 224 00:10:56,834 --> 00:10:58,631 Is this thing working? 225 00:10:58,631 --> 00:10:59,955 (suspenseful music) 226 00:10:59,955 --> 00:11:02,788 (Satsuki gasping) 227 00:11:19,130 --> 00:11:22,694 (Hajime groaning) 228 00:11:22,694 --> 00:11:25,361 - Okay, Leo, you're not helping. 229 00:11:26,454 --> 00:11:27,454 - So erotic. 230 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,490 - If we don't play FCC and cut her off, 231 00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:32,960 we're all gonna die. 232 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,120 - Leo, when will the sun go down on me? 233 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,123 - Oh now you respect my scientific abilities! 234 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,900 Holy crap, we have less than 30 minutes. 235 00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:44,543 - Tell me, don't make it so complicated. 236 00:11:46,454 --> 00:11:49,287 (Satsuki gasping) 237 00:11:50,206 --> 00:11:52,956 (dramatic music) 238 00:12:03,282 --> 00:12:04,410 - [Hajime] Run, Satsuki, run 239 00:12:04,410 --> 00:12:07,680 from yet another Japanese horror movie knockoff, run! 240 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,310 - [Leo] I know, we've done "The Ring" 241 00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:10,720 like four or five times. 242 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,843 - [Miss Matsushima] What the hell is she doing? 243 00:12:14,940 --> 00:12:16,420 - Finally, a teacher. 244 00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:18,100 - What is she doing with her voice? 245 00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:19,250 - If you're not too tired 246 00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:20,850 could you let us in? 247 00:12:20,850 --> 00:12:22,620 - Do not even go there, junior, 248 00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:24,370 and let me put it to you this way, 249 00:12:24,370 --> 00:12:26,543 I woulda had more fun with the mic. 250 00:12:28,170 --> 00:12:30,770 - Listen, a dirty slut like you will be the first 251 00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:33,258 to burn in hell if we don't stop that ghost. 252 00:12:33,258 --> 00:12:34,935 - What? 253 00:12:34,935 --> 00:12:37,546 (Satsuki gasping) 254 00:12:37,546 --> 00:12:40,296 (static buzzing) 255 00:12:52,266 --> 00:12:53,530 - [Mysterious Voice] I shouldn't have been 256 00:12:53,530 --> 00:12:55,304 the only one to die. 257 00:12:55,304 --> 00:12:58,054 (static buzzing) 258 00:13:01,794 --> 00:13:04,461 Everyone should've died with me. 259 00:13:08,993 --> 00:13:10,060 - This school is haunted. 260 00:13:10,060 --> 00:13:11,660 If you wouldn't have been sucking off Mr. Sakata, 261 00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,510 you might have noticed. 262 00:13:13,510 --> 00:13:16,480 - Two words for ya, kid, minute man. 263 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:20,030 - The least you could have done was to invite my sister. 264 00:13:20,030 --> 00:13:22,447 (boy crying) 265 00:13:23,292 --> 00:13:26,917 To have sex with you and Mr. Sakata! 266 00:13:26,917 --> 00:13:28,667 Now she'll die a virgin and I'll die a virgin. 267 00:13:28,667 --> 00:13:30,367 - [Amanojaku] Will someone shut him up! 268 00:13:30,367 --> 00:13:31,580 - [Keiichiro] Whatever that is. 269 00:13:31,580 --> 00:13:34,887 - Getting a (indistinct). 270 00:13:34,887 --> 00:13:36,840 Oh, I saw you and the teacher too. 271 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:37,950 Nice job. 272 00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:38,783 - Oh my God. 273 00:13:38,783 --> 00:13:40,790 Oh my God, that cat is talking. 274 00:13:40,790 --> 00:13:42,430 - Oh boy, does he ever. 275 00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:45,230 How do we put this hellish Howard Stern to sleep, cat? 276 00:13:45,230 --> 00:13:47,294 - I know, but I'm not telling. 277 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:48,680 (Hajime squeals) 278 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:49,513 - So you don't care 279 00:13:49,513 --> 00:13:51,090 if all of us get killed? 280 00:13:51,090 --> 00:13:52,906 - You filthy, furry spawn of Satan. 281 00:13:52,906 --> 00:13:54,573 Goddamn you to hell. 282 00:13:56,255 --> 00:13:57,932 - Well, not gonna. 283 00:13:57,932 --> 00:13:58,765 - Why you- 284 00:14:00,869 --> 00:14:02,745 You know what? 285 00:14:02,745 --> 00:14:04,995 I'll bet you really don't know how to, do ya? 286 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:07,990 I mean, you use a litter box. 287 00:14:07,990 --> 00:14:09,980 How smart could you be anyway? 288 00:14:09,980 --> 00:14:10,813 - Very smart. 289 00:14:10,813 --> 00:14:12,290 - And you lick your own ass. 290 00:14:12,290 --> 00:14:14,680 - Oh I do not! 291 00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:17,030 Yeah, I do, it feels pretty good. 292 00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:20,480 Okay, I guess it wouldn't kill me to give you a little hint. 293 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,610 If I wanted to find out about Akane, 294 00:14:22,610 --> 00:14:24,340 I might just take a little recess over 295 00:14:24,340 --> 00:14:25,853 to the old school house. 296 00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:27,830 - [Leo] He's right. 297 00:14:27,830 --> 00:14:28,663 - Of course. 298 00:14:28,663 --> 00:14:30,670 We have to go there every episode. 299 00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:31,503 Hey, teach. 300 00:14:32,550 --> 00:14:33,500 Hello? 301 00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:34,333 - What? 302 00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:35,930 - [Hajime] Oh, God, stop thinking about Sakata's whack stick 303 00:14:35,930 --> 00:14:36,763 and help up! 304 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,793 - I hear you're pretty good with knobs. 305 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,303 - Too good, apparently. 306 00:14:45,311 --> 00:14:48,061 (static buzzing) 307 00:14:55,977 --> 00:14:58,810 (Satsuki gasping) 308 00:15:00,989 --> 00:15:03,822 (Akane muttering) 309 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,680 - Well look what the cat dragged in. 310 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,933 - I'd have been here too if I had four legs. 311 00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:16,720 - Note exhibit A, Akane was trapped in that microphone 312 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,340 but after a long time, it rusted, rotted and broke. 313 00:15:19,340 --> 00:15:21,737 Kind of reminds me of the last Rolling Stones CD. 314 00:15:21,737 --> 00:15:22,820 "A Bigger Bang", really? 315 00:15:22,820 --> 00:15:23,690 That's what we're calling it? 316 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,412 Where's your Metamucil sponsorship. 317 00:15:25,412 --> 00:15:26,578 - [Leo] We fix the mic, 318 00:15:26,578 --> 00:15:28,800 we'll be able to stop this nasty newscaster. 319 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,080 - I thought you were the smart one. 320 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,800 She's not a dog you can put back in a cage. 321 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:33,700 Hang on kids. 322 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,530 These ears are really good antenna. 323 00:15:35,530 --> 00:15:37,980 We now return to our regularly scheduled program. 324 00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:40,130 (Satsuki screaming) 325 00:15:40,130 --> 00:15:41,155 - I know that voice! 326 00:15:41,155 --> 00:15:43,905 (static buzzing) 327 00:15:57,461 --> 00:16:00,061 - [Akane] Now that's better. 328 00:16:00,061 --> 00:16:02,290 - [Satsuki] Have I waited long enough? 329 00:16:02,290 --> 00:16:03,213 Yeah, probably. 330 00:16:04,301 --> 00:16:05,811 The ghost diary! 331 00:16:05,811 --> 00:16:08,228 - [Akane] The sun is setting. 332 00:16:10,359 --> 00:16:12,276 Down for you all today. 333 00:16:15,487 --> 00:16:18,590 - [Satsuki] I used to have my hair just like that. 334 00:16:18,590 --> 00:16:22,037 God, why didn't anybody tell me how awful it made me look? 335 00:16:22,037 --> 00:16:22,870 (suspenseful music) 336 00:16:22,870 --> 00:16:26,370 - [Akane] Five more minutes and I'll ruin your day. 337 00:16:26,370 --> 00:16:28,370 - I've cleaned your litter box for weeks, 338 00:16:28,370 --> 00:16:30,290 won't you please help me, please! 339 00:16:32,130 --> 00:16:34,223 - Oh, knock it off, help us! 340 00:16:38,390 --> 00:16:39,223 - [Amanojaku] No. 341 00:16:39,223 --> 00:16:40,093 - [Hajime] You ass! 342 00:16:40,093 --> 00:16:43,825 - [Akane] You're listening to the (indistinct) radio. 343 00:16:43,825 --> 00:16:45,712 You're gonna die. 344 00:16:45,712 --> 00:16:46,962 - Do something! 345 00:16:48,820 --> 00:16:49,979 Pray to God! 346 00:16:49,979 --> 00:16:52,312 - [Akane] Everyone will die. 347 00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:57,060 - Hey! 348 00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:57,893 Cut it out. 349 00:16:57,893 --> 00:16:59,023 I haven't been in band for years. 350 00:16:59,860 --> 00:17:01,020 - God, you're dense. 351 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:01,853 - Give it to Leo. 352 00:17:01,853 --> 00:17:02,750 He's still a nerd. 353 00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:04,320 - [Leo] Hey! 354 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,020 - Play it, they use those tones 355 00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:08,033 to end a broadcast in Japan, apparently. 356 00:17:09,053 --> 00:17:10,120 I don't know. 357 00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:10,953 - She's right. 358 00:17:10,953 --> 00:17:13,470 We play station manager and we end the broadcast. 359 00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:14,830 - [Hajime] Big nerd. 360 00:17:14,830 --> 00:17:17,700 - I may be a nerd but you're a idiot. 361 00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,900 Listen closely, the script so far 362 00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:22,220 isn't making any sense to anyone working on this show 363 00:17:22,220 --> 00:17:24,650 so here's what we got, I think. 364 00:17:24,650 --> 00:17:27,410 Somehow, we use this tone thingy to end her broadcast 365 00:17:27,410 --> 00:17:28,960 and we all live happily ever after. 366 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,400 - [Momoko] Devil cat, did you give us 367 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,450 this musical instrument to help us? 368 00:17:32,450 --> 00:17:34,980 - No, I just gave it to you because I love the xylophone. 369 00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:35,813 - Let's go! 370 00:17:39,052 --> 00:17:41,510 - You know, you're not such a bad cat. 371 00:17:41,510 --> 00:17:42,940 - Sure, don't thank me yet. 372 00:17:42,940 --> 00:17:44,918 I didn't give you the whole story. 373 00:17:44,918 --> 00:17:45,853 Oh, well. 374 00:17:50,522 --> 00:17:53,412 (ominous music) 375 00:17:53,412 --> 00:17:55,820 - [Satsuki] Her posture's just terrible. 376 00:17:55,820 --> 00:17:57,770 I wonder if she has scoliosis. 377 00:17:57,770 --> 00:17:59,207 Poor little thing. 378 00:18:00,592 --> 00:18:03,592 (Satsuki screaming) 379 00:18:04,471 --> 00:18:06,054 - 29, 28, 27, 26... 380 00:18:09,980 --> 00:18:12,169 - [Satsuki] Now I have scoliosis. 381 00:18:12,169 --> 00:18:13,252 - 25, 23, 22, 382 00:18:21,228 --> 00:18:22,145 21, 20, 19. 383 00:18:26,002 --> 00:18:28,460 - [Satsuki] This bitch can't count? 384 00:18:28,460 --> 00:18:30,710 - 17, 16, 15, 13, 12, 11... 385 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,187 - [Satsuki] Uh-uh! 386 00:18:37,187 --> 00:18:38,020 - [Akane] Let's see. 387 00:18:38,020 --> 00:18:39,520 - [Satsuki] Uh-uh! 388 00:18:40,613 --> 00:18:43,363 - [Akane] Oh my, definitely a 10. 389 00:18:46,818 --> 00:18:50,270 - [Satsuki] A math-deficient lesbian with scoliosis. 390 00:18:50,270 --> 00:18:53,306 What is it with me and lesbians! 391 00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:54,881 It's the jacket. 392 00:18:54,881 --> 00:18:56,381 I need a makeover. 393 00:18:59,992 --> 00:19:00,825 - It's locked. 394 00:19:00,825 --> 00:19:04,067 - [Miss Matsushima] Get back! 395 00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:08,183 - [Satsuki] She has got to work on her foreplay! 396 00:19:08,183 --> 00:19:09,516 Four, that's it! 397 00:19:10,448 --> 00:19:12,198 She's skipping fours! 398 00:19:13,793 --> 00:19:15,376 - [Akane] Two, one. 399 00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:20,418 (suspenseful music) 400 00:19:20,418 --> 00:19:21,251 - Four! 401 00:19:22,216 --> 00:19:24,432 Not, like golf, you stupid bitch. 402 00:19:24,432 --> 00:19:27,765 F-O-U-R, four, four, four! 403 00:19:38,919 --> 00:19:42,211 Four, four, 14, 474, four, 14, four, 54! 404 00:19:42,211 --> 00:19:44,711 (bell chimes) 405 00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:49,000 (ghost cackling) 406 00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:05,045 (boy crying) 407 00:20:05,045 --> 00:20:06,107 Learn to count. 408 00:20:06,107 --> 00:20:08,503 - God come through once again. 409 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,073 - Could we have just sung the national anthem? 410 00:20:12,073 --> 00:20:12,906 - [Miss Matsushima] Ow! 411 00:20:12,906 --> 00:20:13,739 - What's with you? 412 00:20:15,065 --> 00:20:18,643 - That was the most excitement I've had all day, yeah. 413 00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:24,410 What? 414 00:20:24,410 --> 00:20:27,160 On June 15th, I put the evil yet, 415 00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:30,100 somehow alluring Akane, to spiritual sleep. 416 00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:32,820 I asked her what she was looking at me like that for 417 00:20:32,820 --> 00:20:34,360 and she started screaming. 418 00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:36,540 At first I thought she thought I was ugly 419 00:20:36,540 --> 00:20:39,610 but then I just realized she hated the number four. 420 00:20:39,610 --> 00:20:41,880 I chanted four until she was dead. 421 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:44,330 Then I realized I could've just played those damn four notes 422 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,880 and saved myself a lotta grief. 423 00:20:50,810 --> 00:20:52,360 If this is yours, I'm afraid I'm going 424 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:54,400 to have to take back that Harvard offer. 425 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:55,660 - It's my mom's. 426 00:20:55,660 --> 00:20:58,010 - Well, that explains your painfully unattractive looks 427 00:20:58,010 --> 00:21:00,640 and your lackluster scholastic performance 428 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,706 and your unfortunate brother. 429 00:21:02,706 --> 00:21:03,960 - Bitch. 430 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,450 - Man, that chick better not. 431 00:21:05,450 --> 00:21:06,453 Miss Matsushima! 432 00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:09,810 I heard about this liberal-like broadcast. 433 00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:12,140 You're not going NPR on me, are ya? 434 00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:12,973 - Me, never. 435 00:21:12,973 --> 00:21:14,670 - Good, I was afraid we wouldn't hook up again. 436 00:21:14,670 --> 00:21:16,980 Most of the teachers in this school are Dobermans 437 00:21:16,980 --> 00:21:19,490 but you're my librarian fantasy made flesh. 438 00:21:19,490 --> 00:21:21,493 I mean, I respect your teaching ethic. 439 00:21:22,460 --> 00:21:25,190 What the hell happened to the door knob? 440 00:21:25,190 --> 00:21:27,573 - You left me a little frustrated. 441 00:21:28,973 --> 00:21:30,540 (kids giggling) 442 00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:31,590 Love to stay, but I'm late 443 00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:33,730 for meeting Miss Hadley for a massage and drinks. 444 00:21:33,730 --> 00:21:35,510 - Hey, wait, I thought- 445 00:21:35,510 --> 00:21:37,773 Damn it Hadley, you cock blocked me. 446 00:21:39,869 --> 00:21:42,619 (peaceful music) 447 00:21:46,330 --> 00:21:47,650 - Maybe I've underestimated 448 00:21:47,650 --> 00:21:49,947 this spunky little redhead chick after all. 449 00:21:53,513 --> 00:21:58,513 (upbeat rock music) (singing in Japanese) 450 00:22:02,369 --> 00:22:04,285 ♪ I miss you, I miss you ♪ 451 00:22:04,285 --> 00:22:05,960 ♪ I need you, I need you ♪ 452 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,377 ♪ Sexy, sexy ♪ 453 00:22:41,066 --> 00:22:45,233 ♪ Come back, come back, come back ♪ 454 00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:12,514 ♪ Sexy, sexy ♪ 455 00:23:23,352 --> 00:23:25,890 - [Satsuki] Take it, oh yeah! 456 00:23:25,890 --> 00:23:28,610 Take it, come on, baby. 457 00:23:28,610 --> 00:23:31,010 I'll give you head if you want head. 458 00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:33,409 Ooh yeah. 459 00:23:33,409 --> 00:23:36,173 Take it, take it, take it!