You're watching Two.
And now for our weekly look at the world of science and technology -
Look Around You.
On tonight 's programme...
We'll be lifting the lid on the toilet of the future.
We'll be looking at what Pam gets up to while she's asleep.
And finding out which one of us will be having plastic surgery
right here on the programme.
That 's all on tonight 's healthy edition of Look Around You.
# Look Around You #
Hello, and welcome to Look Around You.
Tonight 's programme is all about the most important thing in your life,
so important that without it
you wouldn't even be watching this programme.
I'm talking, of course, about your health.
Our healths have improved radically over the past few decades.
In fact, if current trends continue
then by 2010 the average life expectancy will be 400 years.
With most of us reaching puberty at around the age of 80.
It 's all thanks to advances in medical science
and British technology is leading the field
with familiar products like asthma cigarettes,
the diarrhoea machine, and, of course,
the controversial Psuicide Spray.
Thanks, Pam(!) But the next big thing in modern healthcare
comes not from Britain or America, or even Norway,
but from China.
So please welcome the future of healthcare, Medibot.
'Medibot! '
Medibot is the only robot in the world qualified to perform surgery
- and being a robot... - 'Medibot! '
Hello - he can work faster and more accurately than a human surgeon.
So let 's meet the man who works with Medibot on a daily basis,
Dr Franklin Fu.
- Welcome to Look Around You. - Hello.
You're going to be giving us a demonstration of the Medibot.
Yes, I'm going to be performing plastic surgery on Jack's face.
Now, I'm sure that our female viewers are thinking,
and probably one or two male viewers, as well,
how on earth could you improve on this?
Well, I certainly try.
Through the course of my work
I have studied hundreds and hundreds of faces,
analysing the proportions and sizes of features
and it is this information I will be applying to Jack
as I try to create the optimum male face.
So Jack should end up with perfect looks?
Well, I hope so.
And Dr Fu will be assisted by Medibot...
- 'Medibot! ' - Oh, I think he likes me.
- (Laughter) - You better move round there, Jack.
Now, Doctor, Medibot is clearly a pretty serious piece of kit.
Presumably he's quite expensive?
Oh, yes. Medibot is very expensive.
In fact, there are only four Medibots in the world.
This one here and the other three belong to Tony Curtis.
So just how good is the Medibot? Is he as good as a human surgeon?
(Dr Fu) Oh, I'd say better. He's so versatile.
He can do anything, from complex surgery to, er...
taking a urine sample.
I won't keep you any longer. Best of luck with the operation.
'Medibot! '
We'll be following Jack's progress throughout the rest of the show.
Over the past few months
our newspapers have been filled with horrifying accounts of a new disease
that has been spreading at an alarming rate.
It 's a disease for which at present there is no known cure.
And it 's all the more terrifying
because scientists don't even know what causes the disease.
I'm talking, of course, about geodermic granititis,
more commonly known as Cobbles.
(# Sad music)
Cobbles is a wicked disease that strikes indiscriminately,
attacking the central nervous system,
fooling it into calcifying bodily tissue,
eventually turning the victim into what is essentially a pile of rocks.
Cobbles sufferers try to lead as normal a life as possible
but it 's hard.
Extreme mental anguish,
coupled with almost insurmountable physical difficulties
can make life intolerable.
But now there may be a light at the end of the tunnel
because a British doctor claims to have made an important breakthrough.
And he joins us in the studio now - Dr Phillip Lavender.
Doctor, thank you for coming on the show.
Thank you for having me on the show.
Now, you're a sufferer from the condition yourself, aren't you?
- I am, Pam, yes. - How long have you had Cobbles?
Just over two years now.
But you've been very busy, haven't you?
I've spent most of that time
trying to find a cure with my research team.
- And you're going to show us it? - Certainly.
Now, Doctor, what exactly is it?
We've produced what is essentially a body cream
which rejuvenates dormant tissue and skin cells
and aims to reverse the damaging effects of Cobbles.
I see. And what does it contain?
Well, cream, potassium, nitrates, potassium nitrates
- and nitrate of potassiate nitrate. - OK.
We're going to demonstrate how it works.
That 's right, Pam. So if you take a small amount with your fingers.
- OK. - OK.
And just start applying that to me.
OK, where shall I put it?
- Er, no, not there. - Oh, sorry.
Try higher up.
- Not in my mouth! - I'm so sorry.
Let me just... Whoops. Sorry, I'll just...
Right. Erm...
- So how about...there? - Yeah, that 's OK.
And so you can see the cream is now working its way
slowly through my semi-porous rock.
Right. Now, just before the programme started
we applied some cream to a small area of Dr Lavender's body
so that we could see its effect.
That 's right, Pam, and if we just look,
it 's just round here, by my bottom.
- (Pam) That is remarkable. - (Dr Lavender chuckles)
We want to do this for the entire body
but at the moment the cream only lasts for about 15 minutes
before the skin starts to become rock again,
so this is something we need to work on.
Well, Doctor, we all hope you find a cure for your terrible affliction.
Well, it 's not all bad. At least we can fly. Goodbye.
Well, I'm now in the special operating area of the studio
with Dr Fu and Medibot, the robotic surgeon.
Medibot 's just about to perform plastic surgery on Jack's face
under the supervision of Dr Fu here.
Doctor, what 's happening now?
At the moment I'm in the final stages of the preparation,
and, er, I'm about to load Medibot up with
a very special plastic surgery computer program.
So, Doctor, tell us, how will Medibot be working tonight?
- (Computer program loading) - Medibot will use a powerful laser
to carry out most of the remodelling of Jack's features.
- I see. - Medibot?
- 'Medibot! ' - Please configure laser settings.
And how's our patient doing?
- I could do with a pint. - Medibot?
- 'Medibot! ' - Prepare the anaesthetic.
Doctor, may I ask, what is it you keep putting into Medibot 's mouth?
Oh, these are just hundreds and thousands, he loves them.
'Medibot! '
OK, I think Jack is ready to go under now
so if you would all like to say goodbye - I mean, good night.
(Laughs) Just joking.
- Well, best of luck, old chap. - Thanks, Pete.
- Nice knowing you, Jack. - Thanks, Pealy(!)
- You look after our boy. - Of course.
- Hope you're all right, Jack. - I'll be fine. Bye-bye. Bye.
Bye-bye.
So, Jack, if you would like to lie very still.
Very, very still. Thank you.
- Medibot! - 'Medibot! '
Administer the anaesthetic, please.
Well, sweet dreams, Jack,
and we'll be checking back on him throughout the programme.
First you sense it - feel it inside -
then you realise, he's looking at you.
Go on, look at him.
Now he's waving at you - he likes you.
Go on, smile at him. Smile.
But you can't because of your disgusting teeth.
But now there's no need to be ashamed of your smile.
Brush with Jenny and you'll soon see the difference.
Jenny is gentle, mild and kind to your teeth.
Now, ready for that smile?
Say goodbye to disgusting teeth with Jenny, the mild toothpaste.
And now, new Lenny for men.
These days we're bombarded with adverts for new toothpaste,
mouthwash or dental loaf.
In the last year a staggering 50 new brands of toothpaste
have been launched in Great Britain alone.
But do these products really do anything?
Well, new research has shown that most of these
are no better than brushing with good old-fashioned soap and water.
So it might be worth investing in one of these -
an electric toothbrush with a difference.
If you look at its head you'll see that it doesn't have any bristles.
Well, because this toothbrush doesn't use toothpaste
to clean your teeth but electricity.
The powerful electric current not only burns away plaque
but it hardens the tooth enamel
making your teeth up to 120 times stronger.
So let 's put it to the Look Around You test.
OK, then, Peter. Plug me in.
OK.
- OK? - Yeah.
- Oh, I think you switched it off. - Oh.
- (Electrical hum) - And off we go.
Cleaning your teeth like this is actually quite painful
but who cares when it leaves your teeth strong enough
to be able to do this?
However, there is one side effect.
(Quickly) Because the current also passes through your vocal cords
it can affect your speech patterns so it won't be in the shops yet.
But we'll keep you posted.
- You still hungry, Pealy? - Mm, I might finish the rest now.
- Medibot. - 'Medibot! '
Increase intensity by 2.4 per cent.
As you can see, Jack's plastic surgery operation is in full swing.
- Medibot. - 'Medibot! '
Make an incision into the cartilage just above the bridge.
Doctor, sorry to disturb you but can you tell me,
how's the operation going?
Pretty good. At the moment we are stripping away
the extraneous tissue from Jack's face,
so hopefully we will be on course to finishing in time.
And how's your assistant?
Oh, Medibot? He's doing a great job. Aren't you, Medibot?
'Medibot! '
Now, I've heard that this Medibot has a special, secret talent.
Oh, yes, er... Erm, I found out that he can play the mouth organ.
- Really? - Yes. Listen to this.
- (Plays random notes) - That 's great.
No, er, sorry, it 's the wrong way round. Here we go.
(# Chirpy tune)
(Laughing)
He's so... He gets me all the time.
Of legend told, brave lady of old would sleep all night and day
With rump so soft and, oh, so oft upon bed of feather and hay
So lady brave to you I say, have a lovely sleep, my darling.
Have a lovely, lovely sleep...
my darling.
Sleep well.
- Good night. - (Alarm clock ringing)
(Ringing stops)
Ah, 40 winks - sheer bliss.
You know, we spend almost 30 per cent of our lives asleep
yet we only know about 20 per cent of what is happening to us
during this state.
In fact, scientists are only about 10 per cent sure
as to why humans sleep at all.
So what does go on when the lights go out?
Here at the National Sleep Research Centre in St St Johnn's,
some fascinating studies are being done
to try and solve some of the mysteries of sleep.
Professor Keith Craven is the Institute's director.
The Centre's been running for about 140 years now.
It began life under the patronage of Queen Victoria
but of course in those days it wasn't a sleep institute
it was a sanctuary for elephants and butterflies.
(Pam) At any one time there are up to 20 full-time volunteers
who allow their sleeping behaviour and even their dreams
to be monitored and analysed by Professor Craven's research team.
One of the patients, Michael,
is wired up to a machine called a Somnascope
which allows scientists to actually watch dreams as they happen.
This is an intriguing piece of equipment.
Can you tell us about what we're looking at here?
Certainly, Pam.
This is one of Michael's recurring dreams,
we call it the Montgomery Dream.
In it he sees himself as the character of Montgomery the butler.
Er, Montgomery is about to serve breakfast to his master
but suddenly has an urge to eat all the jam.
And in a moment the mistress of the house is going to come in -
there she is - and she gives him a jolly good telling off.
Put that jam down at once! It 's the master's.
You know what this means?
- (Chuckles) - You little turd!
Professor, what can we learn from watching dreams?
Well, their hopes, their fears,
their sexual desires,
their worries, er...
Things that might not be apparent on the surface.
Stop eating that jam, you little shit!
(Pam) Professor Craven has an extensive library of people's dreams
all captured on video cassette.
So, Professor, what are we going to look at now?
Well, Pam, you're privileged, if I may say so myself,
to watch one of my own dreams.
- Oh, thank you. - Yes.
We were particularly happy with it because it 's a very clear recording.
OK, well let 's take a look at it.
(# Gentle piano)
Craven! Craven?! Chapter nine!
Read!
(Gibbers)
What 's the matter with you, you filthy fool?
Idiot! Pidiot! Pridiot!
Peroxamidiot! Cabbage hall idiot investment bond!
(Sobbing)
(Baby crying, echoing)
Where's my pipe?
You're an embarrassment, boy! You've embarrassed the pipe!
(Craven moaning)
- Hello. - (Distorted voice) Hello!
Do you like my perfume?
- (Craven) Mmm. - (Woman moans in ecstasy)
(Both moaning)
I had that one last night.
Hola? Flamingo.
(Pam) Our unconscious minds are actually extremely active
and Professor Craven's team have been developing new ways
of harnessing the brain's powers while we're asleep.
Well, you've seen just a fraction of some of the work we're doing
here at the Institute.
And perhaps you might like to be a volunteer
in one of our latest projects?
Of course, but what would it involve?
It would involve driving this motor car
at high speed around the test track.
- That looks like fun. - But you will be fast asleep.
Hm, I might have known there had to be a catch.
I'd better get on with my training
but I'm beginning to wish I'd never got out of bed this morning.
(Quickly) You can see how Pam got on at the end of the programme.
But now let 's see how Jack's plastic surgery is going.
- Doctor, what 's happening? - We're at the end now.
Just finishing off.
That was quick. And how's the patient?
You can ask him yourself, he's awake.
Jack?
- Mm? - How are you feeling?
My face feels a bit numb but I'm all right, thanks, Pam.
Well, why don't we, er...er, clean him up so we can all take a look?
I can't wait.
Medibot, give me some tissues, please.
'Medibot! '
While Jack's getting cleaned up,
let 's remind ourselves of what he used to look like
with this special report from Loorizons,
the toilet industry's annual exhibition in Bath.
(# Bleeping electronica)
(Jack) To the germs in your home your toilet is like Las Vegas.
If you think about it, when you use the toilet
you're leaving a meal for millions of hungry germs
and that 's not a nice thought.
There are dozens of products on the market these days,
all promising to destroy germs,
from the bleach pill to the toilet tarvunty.
But none of them are 100 per cent effective.
But now there's a new British invention which may be the answer
and here it is.
It 's called the Sani-sac and as you can see
it takes its inspiration from the good old tea bag.
However, inside is not tea but coffee.
Coffee has been used for centuries as a powerful sterilising agent
which is why most men normally drink tea.
So let 's see the Sani-sac in action.
You just pop your Sani-sac into the top of your cistern,
very simple, there it is.
Give your loo a good flush...
and now your toilet 's so clean you can even drink out of it.
Ahh.
(Quickly) The final of our Look Around You Invention of the Year
is at the end of the series and one winner will win this trophy
presented by His Royal Highness Sir Prince Charles.
So that 's certainly something to look forward to.
And in honour of his remarkable achievement against such adversity
the invention we're putting forward this week
is the anti-cobbling cream, created by Dr Phillip Lavender.
- (Lavender) Hello again. - Congratulations, Doctor.
- Thank you very much indeed. - And here's your rosette.
Ah, thank you, Pealy. Ooh. (Chuckles)
And what a very quick voice you've got. Goodbye.
Now it 's the moment we've all been waiting for
because it 's time to unveil Jack Morgan's brand-new face.
Doctor, how do you think you've done?
Er, pretty good, Pete.
I think me and Medibot have done a good job.
Don't you think, Medibot?
'Medibot! '
Let 's remind ourselves of what Jack looked like
before he went under the laser.
There he is.
So, Doctor, if you'd like to get ready to do the honours.
- (Drum roll) - (Jack) I hope he hasn't ruined me.
So let 's all now take a look at the brand-new Jack Morgan!
Well?
I love it.
I love it. I love it!
Jack, it 's amazing. You're absolutely gorgeous.
(Jack) Thanks, Pealy. I love it!
- I love it. - Jack, you look amazing.
Doctor, I love it. I love it.
- Don't thank me, thank Medibot. - Thanks, Medibot.
Give him some hundreds and thousands.
- There we are. Good boy. - 'Medibot! '
What really sets it off is the tusk.
Unbelievable. I really love it.
Well, you've got to have it changed back before next week's show.
Oh! But I love it.
That 's all we've got time for tonight.
Thank you to all our guests for taking part -
to Dr Phillip Lavender, to Medibot...
- 'Medibot! ' - ..and, of course, Dr Fu.
Thanks, Doctor.
Thoctor.
We'll be back at the same time next week
to give you a ringside seat to the future of sport,
so don't miss it.
So in the meantime - what a poseur - take care of yourself
and remember, wherever you are, whatever you do...
- 'Medibot! ' - (All) Look around you!
- (# Theme tune) - Wow, absolutely...
But this is...
..I never though I'd look like this.
Good luck, Pam.
# Look Around You #
(Peter) If you'd like to find out more information about Cobbles
you can pick up a leaflet from your GP or local quarry, priced 1p.
'Medibot! '