1 00:00:06,083 --> 00:00:08,759 -I gotta say, when Lisa first introduced the buddy bench, 2 00:00:08,983 --> 00:00:10,757 I was skeptical. 3 00:00:10,781 --> 00:00:11,859 Explain how it works again. 4 00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:13,630 -Well, if a kid doesn't have anyone to play with, 5 00:00:13,637 --> 00:00:14,500 he sits on the bench. 6 00:00:14,542 --> 00:00:17,075 And then, hopefully, someone will come along and be his buddy. 7 00:00:17,076 --> 00:00:19,166 -That's pretty brave of Charlie, sitting there by himself. 8 00:00:19,208 --> 00:00:21,333 -Yeah, and a little pathetic. 9 00:00:21,375 --> 00:00:23,792 Hey, Amanda Susan! Come here. - Yeah? 10 00:00:23,834 --> 00:00:26,880 Why don't you go and play with Charlie. He's all by himself. 11 00:00:26,904 --> 00:00:28,050 What's in it for me? 12 00:00:28,074 --> 00:00:29,583 Ten bucks. 13 00:00:29,875 --> 00:00:31,875 Poor kid. - I got this. 14 00:00:31,917 --> 00:00:34,291 Your all heart. -No, no, no, hold on a second. 15 00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:37,417 - Mr. Duncan's got this. -Well, this is a nice surprise. 16 00:00:37,458 --> 00:00:40,291 -You guys are forgetting something. He's an idiot! 17 00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:42,208 -Give him a shot, give him a shot. 18 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,792 - -Wow! - See? 19 00:00:44,834 --> 00:00:46,834 -So naive. 20 00:00:47,959 --> 00:00:50,959 - -Told ya. - That's cold. 21 00:00:52,917 --> 00:00:54,917 -Yeah. -Right. 22 00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:02,250 - Is it possible that we've misjudged this moron? 23 00:01:02,291 --> 00:01:04,250 - Keep watching. 24 00:01:04,291 --> 00:01:06,627 - -There we go. -Nope. 25 00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:09,667 Ouch. 26 00:01:10,417 --> 00:01:12,875 - See. He's an idiot. 27 00:01:12,917 --> 00:01:15,250 ♪ I'm awesome, no you're not dude, don't lie ♪ 28 00:01:15,291 --> 00:01:17,917 ♪ I'm awesome, I'm driving around in my mom's ride ♪ 29 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:22,041 ♪ I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by ♪ 30 00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:24,291 ♪ I'm awesome ♪ 31 00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:26,834 - Morning wifey. -Hi. 32 00:01:26,875 --> 00:01:28,417 -Thought I'd drop some things off before school. 33 00:01:28,458 --> 00:01:30,250 Do the move in stages. You get it, right? 34 00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:33,258 Yeah, so... -Whoa, look at this! 35 00:01:33,282 --> 00:01:35,567 I guess we're doing this thing, huh? 36 00:01:35,575 --> 00:01:38,000 -We're married, Lisa. Married people live together. 37 00:01:38,041 --> 00:01:40,166 -I thought about you moving into our place. 38 00:01:40,208 --> 00:01:43,250 But, you had sex with Bill. So that's weird. 39 00:01:43,291 --> 00:01:45,834 And, Simon's there so it's a bit crowded. 40 00:01:45,875 --> 00:01:47,750 -My place it is then. 41 00:01:47,792 --> 00:01:49,917 - Oh, Bill and I like to watch the games all the time. 42 00:01:49,959 --> 00:01:52,083 So, I just brought that. Face the... 43 00:01:49,959 --> 00:01:52,083 -Oh, okay. 44 00:01:52,125 --> 00:01:54,375 -Oh! I almost forgot. ♪ Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah ♪ 45 00:01:54,417 --> 00:01:57,166 ♪ Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, do, do, do, do ♪ 46 00:01:57,208 --> 00:01:59,834 -Aw! -♪ Do, do, do, do, ba da ♪ 47 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,325 Are these from the lobby? 48 00:02:04,349 --> 00:02:05,208 What's that smell? 49 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:08,125 Cats! Good news! You can get rid of your cats. 50 00:02:08,166 --> 00:02:10,291 -I'm not getting rid of my cats, Gerry. 51 00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:12,834 -You're not sad and alone anymore. Gerry's here. 52 00:02:12,875 --> 00:02:15,000 Okay. Come here, bring it in. 53 00:02:15,041 --> 00:02:17,458 -Okay, there is a small part of me that... 54 00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:20,166 - That really appreciates that, Gerry. 55 00:02:20,208 --> 00:02:22,792 -A big part of me is wondering, why would you have a couch 56 00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:25,792 in an angle, away...? -This is where the couch goes. 57 00:02:25,834 --> 00:02:27,755 No! But...the... 58 00:02:27,779 --> 00:02:28,709 - Let's move it. 59 00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:31,083 Let's move the couch. -I'm not moving my couch. 60 00:02:31,125 --> 00:02:34,709 -No, Lisa, I can't watch the TV. This is marriage, I'm sorry. 61 00:02:34,750 --> 00:02:37,291 Give and take. I'm taking... 62 00:02:37,333 --> 00:02:40,333 The couch in a position I need it. I watch a lot of sports. 63 00:02:40,375 --> 00:02:42,540 - Hey! Hey! 64 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,583 Hey! Wastes of space. 65 00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:48,875 -Cats like it straight. -There's pills to put them down. 66 00:02:48,917 --> 00:02:51,375 What?! - Let's stop fighting, first of all. 67 00:02:51,417 --> 00:02:54,875 I don't want Bill to see this. Okay? 68 00:02:54,917 --> 00:02:57,041 - Let's move the couch. Give and take. 69 00:02:57,083 --> 00:02:59,375 I will take the couch, this way. Ready? And... 70 00:02:59,417 --> 00:03:01,709 Lift. Go. -Oh! 71 00:03:01,750 --> 00:03:04,125 You broke the couch, Gerry. -Oh, gosh Lisa. 72 00:03:04,166 --> 00:03:07,041 That's coming out of your money, 'cause I don't have money for that. 73 00:03:08,083 --> 00:03:09,709 -Oh SHUT UP! 74 00:03:12,834 --> 00:03:15,250 -What the hell are you doing? -What does it look like I'm doing? 75 00:03:15,291 --> 00:03:18,208 Adding five, maybe ten years to my life. -Seems selfish. 76 00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:22,333 Excessive sitting is the new smoking okay. And it's killing you all. 77 00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:23,827 -Yeah, something's definitely killing me Robert, 78 00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,017 but it's not sitting. 79 00:03:25,058 --> 00:03:27,667 Why? 'Cause I'm being productive and getting healthy at the same time? 80 00:03:27,709 --> 00:03:31,333 -Also, acting unprofessionally while looking disgusting. 81 00:03:31,375 --> 00:03:34,659 My office, my rules. 82 00:03:34,675 --> 00:03:34,959 I don't...come in your As... 83 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,500 - Robert. -...ton Martin and tell you how to drive. 84 00:03:37,542 --> 00:03:39,667 It's a good stress reliever, you should give it a whirl. 85 00:03:39,709 --> 00:03:41,425 Over my dead body. 86 00:03:41,449 --> 00:03:42,834 See, that's what we're trying to prevent here. 87 00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:49,125 Excuse me, I think this is a donor... Hello! 88 00:03:51,625 --> 00:03:53,789 - Do you know what the best part of being married is Lisa? 89 00:03:53,813 --> 00:03:55,750 - Not being alone at the end. 90 00:03:55,792 --> 00:03:57,875 -Being able to double park during my morning pit stops. 91 00:03:57,917 --> 00:04:01,750 -Well, I don't understand why you couldn't just pick everything up from one place. 92 00:04:01,792 --> 00:04:04,417 Where is my stupid cell phone. -Because it's a routine! 93 00:04:04,458 --> 00:04:06,583 I always get my muffin from the muffin shop. 94 00:04:06,625 --> 00:04:08,750 I get my bagel from the bagel shop. 95 00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:10,917 You don't even want to know where I get my smoothie. 96 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,083 -You got it from the smoothie shop. -Busted! 97 00:04:13,125 --> 00:04:16,125 -Your little pit stops, Gerry, are making us both late. 98 00:04:16,166 --> 00:04:19,208 -Don't worry about being late. I'm late all the time, no one even notices. 99 00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:21,625 -Your boss notices. -Robert?! 100 00:04:21,250 --> 00:04:22,625 He doesn't notice. Trust me. 101 00:04:22,667 --> 00:04:24,938 I walk by his office everyday. 102 00:04:24,962 --> 00:04:26,583 Hey, listen, don't tell him either, okay? 103 00:04:26,625 --> 00:04:29,125 That stays in the marriage vault. There's your phone. 104 00:04:29,166 --> 00:04:30,709 -Oh my God, I have... 105 00:04:32,125 --> 00:04:34,458 A conference call with the board in three minutes. 106 00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:37,250 Oh my God. Ugh! 107 00:04:38,041 --> 00:04:40,208 Ugh! Oh crap! 108 00:04:41,208 --> 00:04:43,771 Oof! Uuuurggghhh! 109 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,950 My wife ladies and gentlemen. 110 00:04:47,959 --> 00:04:50,750 - Ah, that's fast. - Outta my way, excuse me. 111 00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:53,583 - I'm the principal...Oh! -I gotta clean this up. 112 00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:56,667 This will take me half an hour. 113 00:04:56,668 --> 00:04:58,667 And there's the bell. 114 00:04:58,709 --> 00:05:00,875 -Oh, hey Bobbi how you doing? -Oh, hey! 115 00:05:01,125 --> 00:05:02,693 Inspirational. 116 00:05:02,717 --> 00:05:04,302 -What's that? -Huh? 117 00:05:04,326 --> 00:05:06,875 Oh, that's just the word that Eva used. 118 00:05:06,917 --> 00:05:10,083 -Oh, who's Eva? -Oh, she's just an old student of mine. 119 00:05:10,125 --> 00:05:13,542 She just wrote me this beautiful letter. - Oh... 120 00:05:13,583 --> 00:05:18,166 -Basically thanking me for giving her and some other students a... 121 00:05:18,208 --> 00:05:22,917 Moving speech about how important it is to focus on your dreams. 122 00:05:22,959 --> 00:05:25,959 - Wow, great stuff. - Wow, isn't that nice. 123 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,250 You know what... Stay with me for a second. 124 00:05:28,291 --> 00:05:31,125 It's actually... It's actually more than nice, because... 125 00:05:31,166 --> 00:05:34,000 Now she's like this accomplished singer and songwriter. 126 00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:36,917 And she's doing an album release concert tonight... 127 00:05:36,959 --> 00:05:39,583 And that... Is because of moi! 128 00:05:39,625 --> 00:05:42,250 -Wow! All because of you. -Yeah, wow! 129 00:05:42,291 --> 00:05:45,959 -Like, I made that happen... With my words. 130 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,500 -It must have been some speech. -I mean, we forget... 131 00:05:48,542 --> 00:05:52,291 About the importance of our influence on these kids. 132 00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:55,208 And then you get something... 133 00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:57,709 -Oh, you're gonna cry. -You get something like this. 134 00:05:57,750 --> 00:05:59,875 - Oh. - Oh my goodness. 135 00:05:59,917 --> 00:06:02,041 -And you think this is why we do what we do. 136 00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:04,375 -Yes sir, that's exactly right. -That's the reason we do it. 137 00:06:04,417 --> 00:06:06,291 -And I'm gonna think about that. -Bye Bobbi. 138 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:09,125 - Yeah, I'm just not quite finished. - Okay, not done. 139 00:06:09,166 --> 00:06:11,758 -I'm just wondering, have you guys ever got a letter like this? 140 00:06:11,759 --> 00:06:13,030 Like this beautiful? 141 00:06:13,054 --> 00:06:15,417 Umm, no... I... You know what? I haven't, but... 142 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,667 Maybe one day. - Yeah. 143 00:06:17,709 --> 00:06:20,208 - Probably not. 144 00:06:21,166 --> 00:06:23,083 -Maybe one day. 145 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,078 Gerry, what do you want? 146 00:06:26,102 --> 00:06:28,291 I need to speak to you about me teaching Phys Ed. 147 00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:30,417 -No. 148 00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:32,749 -As my boss, and more importantly my wife, 149 00:06:32,773 --> 00:06:33,750 you need to look after your teachers... 150 00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:35,959 And your husband. 151 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,375 -'Cause a happy husband is a happy life-band. 152 00:06:39,417 --> 00:06:41,542 -Okay... -Great! I'll tell Bobbi. 153 00:06:41,583 --> 00:06:44,542 -No. I mean, okay... I... 154 00:06:44,583 --> 00:06:47,083 This marriage is not working for me. 155 00:06:47,125 --> 00:06:49,375 -What? -I mean, we've given it a whirl. 156 00:06:49,417 --> 00:06:52,709 We've gone around that merry-go-round... Twice. 157 00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:56,083 And we are clearly, horribly... 158 00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:59,291 Murderously incompatible. -Okay, agree to disagree. 159 00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:01,792 But, just don't let the moment get you all upset. 160 00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:04,667 -I want an annulment. Another one. 161 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,375 -Well, I shoulda seen that coming. 162 00:07:07,417 --> 00:07:09,834 'Cause you slept with all my friends before we got married. 163 00:07:09,875 --> 00:07:12,064 Okay... -If that wasn't a sign of a problem... 164 00:07:12,088 --> 00:07:14,166 - Really? Bill's your only friend? 165 00:07:14,208 --> 00:07:17,866 -You don't get to hurt me anymore. That's how that works, Missy. 166 00:07:18,890 --> 00:07:19,917 Where did we finish on the Phys Ed? 167 00:07:20,166 --> 00:07:22,542 -Get out Gerry. -Later. We'll talk later. 168 00:07:22,583 --> 00:07:24,959 -Bye. 169 00:07:27,605 --> 00:07:30,250 -One minute I'm married, the next minute I'm not. 170 00:07:30,291 --> 00:07:33,375 -Gerry, sometimes marriages end and we don't know why. 171 00:07:33,417 --> 00:07:35,834 In this case, of course, it's obvious. 172 00:07:35,875 --> 00:07:38,000 The odds of it working out were really low. 173 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:41,125 -She was a very different girl the second time we got married. 174 00:07:41,166 --> 00:07:43,017 Let me ask you this. -Anything. 175 00:07:43,041 --> 00:07:44,819 How are things in the uh... 176 00:07:44,843 --> 00:07:46,291 Boudoir? 177 00:07:48,417 --> 00:07:50,625 To be honest, I don't really know. 178 00:07:50,667 --> 00:07:54,083 Um, we woke up a couple times in bed together. 179 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,083 We may or may not have had relations the first time. 180 00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:58,834 The second time we did not. So, things are definitely getting worse. 181 00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:00,860 Well, what else can you tell me? 182 00:08:00,884 --> 00:08:02,333 Think Gerry. Any little detail can help. 183 00:08:02,375 --> 00:08:05,667 -No, I think I've told you everything. That's pretty much... 184 00:08:05,709 --> 00:08:08,166 No favorite positions, or a toy? 185 00:08:08,208 --> 00:08:10,959 Or like a sexy little birthmark that I can think about or... 186 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,898 Like anything at all would help. 187 00:08:12,922 --> 00:08:14,166 A trigger, safe word? Come on. 188 00:08:14,208 --> 00:08:16,125 - Ahhh. -Anything, anything. 189 00:08:16,166 --> 00:08:18,917 -Maybe this was a bad idea, Frank. I think I'm gonna go. 190 00:08:18,959 --> 00:08:22,125 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. I got a little greedy there. Mea culpa. 191 00:08:22,166 --> 00:08:23,814 But you want some real talksies? 192 00:08:23,838 --> 00:08:25,083 Yes, that's why I'm here. 193 00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:27,291 -Every little girl dreams about her wedding. 194 00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:29,378 - And our Lisa has had two of them, 195 00:08:29,402 --> 00:08:30,625 and the drunken lush can't remember either. 196 00:08:30,667 --> 00:08:33,417 -You can't say that. Technically, she's still my wife you're talking about. 197 00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:34,830 And she's my boss. 198 00:08:34,854 --> 00:08:37,250 She's also a lady who used to be a little dream filled girl. 199 00:08:37,291 --> 00:08:38,947 And a person. 200 00:08:38,971 --> 00:08:40,542 If you want to stay married, you've got to do this right. 201 00:08:40,583 --> 00:08:43,041 -Wow! You're good. 202 00:08:43,083 --> 00:08:45,709 I never looked at it that way. 203 00:08:45,750 --> 00:08:48,208 - I'm not just a guidance counsellor, I'm also... 204 00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:51,083 -My friend and I appreciate it. You don't have to remind me. 205 00:08:51,125 --> 00:08:56,209 -I was going to say a licensed sexual surrogate, but thank you. 206 00:08:57,450 --> 00:08:59,375 -What?! -I've got, like, a special skill. 207 00:08:59,417 --> 00:09:00,311 Yeah. 208 00:09:00,335 --> 00:09:03,041 I can satisfy women without them falling in love with me. 209 00:09:03,083 --> 00:09:04,417 -Right. 210 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:08,208 -So, we can put a smile on her face and a ring on her finger as a team. 211 00:09:08,250 --> 00:09:12,208 - I'm gonna go... And I'm gonna erase that... 212 00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:14,291 From my memory, okay? 213 00:09:16,166 --> 00:09:18,959 - If you're a bad boy again... 214 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,614 - I'm going to get off... 215 00:09:20,638 --> 00:09:21,792 - This treadmill. 216 00:09:21,834 --> 00:09:24,542 - To drag you to detention... 217 00:09:24,583 --> 00:09:25,625 - Myself! 218 00:09:32,125 --> 00:09:35,083 - Um...Robert! -What...? 219 00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:38,125 What the hell is this business? 220 00:09:38,166 --> 00:09:39,441 -I kept sweating through my daywear, 221 00:09:39,465 --> 00:09:41,625 so I thought I'd slip into something a bit more... 222 00:09:41,667 --> 00:09:42,992 Appropriate. 223 00:09:43,034 --> 00:09:46,500 -There is nothing appropriate about this. 224 00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:47,621 What? 225 00:09:47,645 --> 00:09:52,333 Did it ever occur to you that you might be sending the wrong message to the students? 226 00:09:52,375 --> 00:09:53,731 Pft! 227 00:09:53,755 --> 00:09:55,208 Did it ever occur to you that I might be leading by example? 228 00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:58,208 Teaching them about living with an active lifestyle. 229 00:09:58,250 --> 00:10:01,583 - Next victim. Let's go. 230 00:10:04,291 --> 00:10:06,183 - Hello. 231 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,590 - Lisa, when I said we were fated to be together, 232 00:10:11,614 --> 00:10:13,250 despite how gross it seemed... 233 00:10:13,291 --> 00:10:15,667 Thank you, Gerry. I meant it. 234 00:10:15,709 --> 00:10:18,041 Okay, Gerry, I don't have the time... 235 00:10:18,083 --> 00:10:20,166 Really? You wrote that on a card? 236 00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:23,458 Seriously? 237 00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:26,792 - But, I realize that we didn't do it right. 238 00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:29,834 No, 'cause we were drunk. 239 00:10:29,875 --> 00:10:32,375 - Where were your friends and family? 240 00:10:34,959 --> 00:10:37,959 I do have friends, Gerry. 241 00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:43,333 - But you do have parents and they should have been there. 242 00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:45,500 - No, no they shouldn't have been. 243 00:10:45,542 --> 00:10:48,125 -My son, you might want to speak your true feelings. 244 00:10:48,166 --> 00:10:50,208 -Do not encourage him, please. 245 00:10:55,625 --> 00:10:59,041 You did not invite my parents... Gerry! 246 00:11:04,542 --> 00:11:06,916 Surprise! - Ahhh. 247 00:11:06,940 --> 00:11:08,166 Let's do it right. 248 00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:11,041 Those aren't my parents. Okay, I'm going to leave. 249 00:11:11,083 --> 00:11:15,583 And in five minutes when I come back I want this gong show out of my office. 250 00:11:15,625 --> 00:11:17,667 Okay? Father. 251 00:11:19,208 --> 00:11:23,000 - I'm so excited. Yeah. -Yeah, it's exciting. 252 00:11:23,041 --> 00:11:25,388 -A real nice energy in here. -Yeah 253 00:11:25,412 --> 00:11:27,208 - I'm really proud, you know. 254 00:11:27,375 --> 00:11:29,250 -Yeah. -Yeah 255 00:11:29,291 --> 00:11:31,667 -Oh, here we go. Yay Eva! -Ahhh! 256 00:11:35,083 --> 00:11:36,797 Before I get started tonight, 257 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:40,083 I just want to give a big shout out to my former high school teacher. 258 00:11:40,125 --> 00:11:42,875 She's here tonight and she's the reason I do what I do. 259 00:11:42,917 --> 00:11:45,041 Ms. Galka, why don't you come up here? 260 00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:47,959 - Wow, what, okay. - Oh. 261 00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:50,083 - Whoo! 262 00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:52,900 -Oh my gosh, thanks Eva! Ohh. 263 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,333 -I can't take all the credit. 264 00:11:55,375 --> 00:11:57,792 But I can take, you know, a lot of it. 265 00:11:57,834 --> 00:12:00,375 I support you 100% in everything you do, Eva. 266 00:12:00,417 --> 00:12:02,417 - Okay! Go for it! 267 00:12:19,125 --> 00:12:23,208 ♪ White as a cloud White as the snow ♪ 268 00:12:26,458 --> 00:12:31,630 ♪ White as the best part Of an Oreo ♪ 269 00:12:31,654 --> 00:12:33,117 Here. Here. 270 00:12:33,583 --> 00:12:38,208 ♪ White as flour Or my white laundry ♪ 271 00:12:41,208 --> 00:12:46,208 ♪ 'Cause white is the colour Jesus wants us to be ♪ 272 00:12:48,208 --> 00:12:51,709 ♪ When this world looks dour ♪ 273 00:12:54,166 --> 00:12:57,959 ♪ It nee... ♪ - Please don't say it. 274 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,667 ♪ White Power ♪ 275 00:13:00,709 --> 00:13:03,166 ♪ Ooooh White Power ♪ 276 00:13:03,208 --> 00:13:05,449 No no no no no. 277 00:13:05,473 --> 00:13:07,000 What is she saying? 278 00:13:07,041 --> 00:13:10,250 ♪ Mmmm White Power ♪ -Okay. 279 00:13:10,291 --> 00:13:13,875 - ♪ Ooooh ♪ -This is happening. 280 00:13:27,208 --> 00:13:29,500 -That's one of the shortest songs I've ever heard. 281 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:32,375 - Shhhh. -One verse, one chorus and you're out. 282 00:13:34,333 --> 00:13:35,965 Aren't husbands the worst? 283 00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:37,917 - You know the trick to a strong marriage? 284 00:13:37,959 --> 00:13:40,250 Ventilation! 285 00:13:40,291 --> 00:13:42,900 Come on and vent with us gals! 286 00:13:42,924 --> 00:13:43,917 Really? 287 00:13:43,959 --> 00:13:47,590 Well, yeah. You're a member of the club now. 288 00:13:48,614 --> 00:13:49,658 The club? 289 00:13:50,458 --> 00:13:53,125 -The married club. 290 00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:58,083 I've never belonged to a club before. 291 00:13:58,125 --> 00:14:00,208 -Single people just don't understand. 292 00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:02,291 -No. No, they don't. 293 00:14:02,333 --> 00:14:05,375 -Y'know, sometimes we get together on Saturday nights and have a couple drinks. 294 00:14:05,417 --> 00:14:09,291 -To get away from the hubbies. You should join. 295 00:14:09,333 --> 00:14:11,875 -Oh my God! Yes, I would love to! 296 00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:15,208 - It's been so long since I've had friends. 297 00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:18,917 Or... Been out with friends. 298 00:14:20,583 --> 00:14:23,000 - Oh, how fun is this? 299 00:14:23,041 --> 00:14:25,333 -Oh, the married club is the most fun. 300 00:14:26,709 --> 00:14:29,041 -There you are! 301 00:14:29,083 --> 00:14:31,000 Excuse me, ladies. Sorry to interrupt. 302 00:14:31,041 --> 00:14:37,410 I thought you should know that I am fine and I am moving on from us, 303 00:14:37,434 --> 00:14:38,834 even though I thought we had something. 304 00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:43,500 You're so hilarious! 305 00:14:43,542 --> 00:14:47,250 He's always pulling silly pranks like this. 306 00:14:47,291 --> 00:14:50,250 - My husband, everyone. 307 00:14:51,875 --> 00:14:54,231 You said you wanted another annulment. What's going on? 308 00:14:54,255 --> 00:14:57,083 What, why would I want an annulment when I'm married? 309 00:14:57,125 --> 00:14:59,417 That doesn't even make any sense, Gerry. 310 00:14:59,458 --> 00:15:01,792 - You're such a joker. 311 00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:04,792 - top joking you stupid moron. -What a joke. 312 00:15:04,834 --> 00:15:07,041 -The ol' ball and chain. -Oh! 313 00:15:07,083 --> 00:15:09,458 -Okay, okay. -Oh, married, again. 314 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:13,125 I always wanted to be called ball and chain. 315 00:15:13,166 --> 00:15:15,250 -This is so cool. 316 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:21,792 -Here we go. -I guess we're doing this. 317 00:15:21,834 --> 00:15:24,125 -Just a married couple about to jump into bed together. 318 00:15:24,166 --> 00:15:26,375 That's normal, right? -It's no biggie. 319 00:15:26,417 --> 00:15:29,083 We woke up in the same bed. -Hmmm. 320 00:15:29,125 --> 00:15:33,208 Whoo. - This is that, but in reverse. 321 00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:35,083 -Let's go. 322 00:15:35,125 --> 00:15:37,333 Let's hit the hay. 323 00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:41,583 Oh yeah, my ah... My first threesome. 324 00:15:43,625 --> 00:15:44,750 - The cat. 325 00:15:44,792 --> 00:15:46,375 -Okay, this isn't working. -Yeah, that didn't work at all. 326 00:15:46,417 --> 00:15:48,875 -No. - I threw up a little in my mouth there. 327 00:15:48,917 --> 00:15:52,667 Oh man! Ugh! That was gross. 328 00:15:52,709 --> 00:15:56,500 Wow, I was enjoying being married, not to you, but... 329 00:15:56,542 --> 00:15:59,458 I had crossed off my bucket list item. 330 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,500 -I was really liking having human friends. 331 00:16:03,291 --> 00:16:04,507 You know what? 332 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,166 - Why do we have to be married the conventional way? 333 00:16:06,208 --> 00:16:08,250 Why can't we be married our own way? 334 00:16:08,291 --> 00:16:11,834 Keep the good stuff, lose the gross stuff like having to lie in bed next to you. 335 00:16:11,875 --> 00:16:13,675 I'm listening. 336 00:16:13,699 --> 00:16:15,417 There's no rule that you have to live in the same place 337 00:16:15,458 --> 00:16:17,667 and sleep in the same bed with your wife. 338 00:16:17,709 --> 00:16:19,147 Yeah. I mean... 339 00:16:19,171 --> 00:16:21,250 That's a fabricated societal construct is what that is. 340 00:16:21,291 --> 00:16:23,322 -I don't know what that means, but, 341 00:16:23,346 --> 00:16:25,291 why can't we just stay married for our own benefit? 342 00:16:25,333 --> 00:16:26,982 No reason. 343 00:16:27,006 --> 00:16:28,083 You don't want to live with me, I don't want to live with you. 344 00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:31,417 -No argument here. - Oh my god, marriage without commitment. 345 00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:34,667 That's the best! -Sounds amazing! It's perfect. 346 00:16:34,709 --> 00:16:38,583 -We're a great team. -We are such a good team, aww. 347 00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:41,041 -People will be jealous of our marriage. 348 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:43,375 -Get out Gerry. -Alright, gladly. 349 00:16:44,417 --> 00:16:46,542 Get the hell out of here. 350 00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:51,799 I just don't get it. I mean, how could I inspire that? 351 00:16:51,823 --> 00:16:53,667 I really think you're reading too much into these lyrics. 352 00:16:53,709 --> 00:16:55,242 Yeah? -Yeah. 353 00:16:55,266 --> 00:16:57,583 Don't beat yourself up. Okay. 354 00:16:57,834 --> 00:17:01,458 What's one bad white supremacist apple in like... 355 00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:05,250 -An orchard of race loving... 356 00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:08,458 Open-minded mixed fruit. 357 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:10,625 -Fruit... Mixed fruit. -Yes. 358 00:17:10,667 --> 00:17:12,917 -I was thinking the exact same thing. -There you go. 359 00:17:12,959 --> 00:17:14,801 - So, I tracked down a couple of people that 360 00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,667 were there the day I made the speech to Eva. 361 00:17:16,709 --> 00:17:19,500 - And I'm sure that they are upstanding members of society. 362 00:17:19,542 --> 00:17:22,542 -One's a prostitute and the other one's a drug dealer. 363 00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:25,063 What did you say to those kids? 364 00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:27,291 I don't remember. 365 00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:30,208 - And remember, 'cause I don't want to have to tell you girls this again. 366 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:34,041 You need to change your attitudes, focus on what matters. 367 00:17:34,083 --> 00:17:36,162 Focus on your future! 368 00:17:36,186 --> 00:17:37,152 God, you have dreams, don't you? 369 00:17:37,166 --> 00:17:39,623 The way you guys are playing it right now, all those dreams? 370 00:17:39,647 --> 00:17:40,898 Just say goodbye. 371 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,530 Goodbye to everything that's in your future 372 00:17:42,554 --> 00:17:44,875 because you have such a huge attitude problem! 373 00:17:44,917 --> 00:17:47,041 -Hey, Miss Galka. -What? 374 00:17:47,083 --> 00:17:48,108 I was reading this article. 375 00:17:48,132 --> 00:17:50,551 Did know that drug dealers, prostitutes and white supremacist 376 00:17:50,575 --> 00:17:52,750 singer/ songwriters make more money than teachers do? 377 00:17:52,917 --> 00:17:54,868 That's unbelievable. 378 00:17:54,892 --> 00:17:57,583 Just thought I'd let you know, so... Hey girls. 379 00:17:58,166 --> 00:18:03,208 -Oh! Yup, yup. There it is. Now I remember. 380 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:06,208 -Hi, this is Ms. Walsh from Xavier Academy. 381 00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:08,375 I'm calling to remind you that... 382 00:18:08,417 --> 00:18:11,500 - That's the stuff buddy. You're in the pocket now. 383 00:18:12,742 --> 00:18:13,625 Sorry. 384 00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:15,639 - Man my quads are tight. 385 00:18:15,663 --> 00:18:16,781 - Feel that deep burn. 386 00:18:16,783 --> 00:18:19,000 I'm gonna have to call you back. 387 00:18:19,542 --> 00:18:22,333 - Check me out, Trudy! I'm getting lots of work done. 388 00:18:22,375 --> 00:18:24,542 My stress levels are way down! 389 00:18:24,583 --> 00:18:27,083 You should totally get one of these. 390 00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:48,083 -Y'know, you're right about the treadmill. 391 00:18:48,125 --> 00:18:50,375 Big stress reliever. 392 00:18:56,041 --> 00:18:59,750 -Hey Gerry! So I'm collecting donations to end poverty. 393 00:18:59,792 --> 00:19:02,291 Which is like really, obviously super bad! 394 00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:05,417 - And I was wondering if you would be willing to open your heart... 395 00:19:05,458 --> 00:19:07,875 And your wallet. - Let me stop you right there. 396 00:19:07,917 --> 00:19:09,233 Yup. 397 00:19:09,257 --> 00:19:10,792 If it was up to me I'd give you every cent I have. 398 00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:13,375 But I'm married, so I gotta check with Lisa. 399 00:19:13,417 --> 00:19:15,542 'Cause we do everything together. 400 00:19:15,583 --> 00:19:18,500 - We discuss finances, so... -Yeah, that's cool. 401 00:19:18,542 --> 00:19:20,709 -So, if you can get Lisa on board, I'm on board. 402 00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:23,834 Check with her, okay? -Okay, I get it. That's cool. 403 00:19:24,875 --> 00:19:26,625 - Yeah, I know about that. 404 00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:31,625 -Hey Lisa! -Hey. 405 00:19:31,667 --> 00:19:36,250 - So I am collecting donations to end all of... 406 00:19:36,291 --> 00:19:38,123 Poverty! Just all of it. 407 00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:41,375 I was hoping that you would open your heart and your wallet... 408 00:19:41,417 --> 00:19:45,083 -Ooh, I would just love to, but I'm married now. 409 00:19:45,125 --> 00:19:48,417 - So I can't dip into the finances without checking with my hubby. 410 00:19:49,458 --> 00:19:51,250 -Okay, well... 411 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:53,166 He just said the same thing about you, so... 412 00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:56,458 -'Cause we're married. It's a married thing so... 413 00:19:56,508 --> 00:19:58,086 -She doesn't get it. -I get it. 414 00:19:58,110 --> 00:20:00,304 -How could she? -Go on! Git! 415 00:20:01,328 --> 00:20:02,978 Get out of here! 416 00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:06,875 -Funny little spinster. -Oh, she needs cats. 417 00:20:16,291 --> 00:20:18,716 Hey! There he is! -Surprise! 418 00:20:18,740 --> 00:20:19,424 What is this? 419 00:20:19,425 --> 00:20:21,057 - We figured since we didn't celebrate your marriage... 420 00:20:21,059 --> 00:20:24,166 We put together a little... -Breakfast Bachelor Party! 421 00:20:24,208 --> 00:20:26,709 -Boom! -Wow! That's awesome! 422 00:20:28,583 --> 00:20:30,917 Who's sleeping on the couch? 423 00:20:30,959 --> 00:20:33,166 -Bill got you a stripper! -A str...! 424 00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:34,646 -She was working a nightshift though, 425 00:20:34,670 --> 00:20:36,125 so she's taking a quick power nap, sleep it off. 426 00:20:36,166 --> 00:20:38,300 I can't have a stripper. 427 00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:39,542 I'm married now, I can't be... 428 00:20:39,583 --> 00:20:41,709 -You're married to someone you don't live with, so... 429 00:20:41,750 --> 00:20:43,325 -Is that really a marriage? -Is that a marriage 430 00:20:43,366 --> 00:20:46,125 -Yes, it is, because...2016! 431 00:20:46,166 --> 00:20:48,291 -That's a good point. -Yeah, that's a fair point. 432 00:20:48,333 --> 00:20:50,641 If it's good enough for the country, it's good enough for me. 433 00:20:50,665 --> 00:20:51,917 So...? 434 00:20:52,559 --> 00:20:53,208 - What do you want me to do? 435 00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:55,959 - Do you want me to get rid of her? -No, let her sleep. 436 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,917 -Let her sleep, let her sleep that's good. That's nice, man. 437 00:20:58,959 --> 00:21:01,083 - Just keep it down, we'll have the bachelor party. 438 00:21:02,125 --> 00:21:03,834 - Yeah! -We'll let the stripper sleep.